It depends on his response. How does he feel about what he did?

My dh and I find ourselves grabbing toys and shouting at ds ever since dd was born and ds is constantly on top of her, pushing her over, hurting her. We have been struggling with our instincts to protect our baby, and I've come so close to smacking ds. Our once calm and peaceful family has been on the edge. All this has frightened us (I'm worse than dh, because he's not home as often) so I have been seeing a psychologist and am going to attend parenting classes. I feel, justifiably, like the worst mother ever and want to desperately change. I love my children more than anything and would die if dh took them and left me.

Does your dh feel he's done something wrong, or does he think it is OK? If he doesn't care to change then you should consider moving the kids somewhere safe until he realises it's not OK.

But if he knows it was wrong and is riddled with guilt and wants to change, then stand by him and give him the support he needs to find the right parenting program that will teach him the tools he needs to learn how to handle those tricky situations.