I'm with Nai. Set out the clear boundaries of what is ok and what is not ok and what his actions will mean for the harmony of the family. Draw a VERY clear line in the sand on acceptable and safe behaviour.

I have heard of some great and empowering parenting classes about how to manage yourself in intense situations. it is something that is generally done as a couple (as all parenting should be a joint effort if there are two of you in the home ITMS).

It may be worth considering getting in to see someone as a couple too. Sometimes after the birth of a baby there are alot of unsettled emotions that may have triggered deep-seated anxieties, memories etc. See it as an opportunity to clean out the closet and take a positive step forward for the whole family.