I've ended up going to see a psychologist recently to help me deal with my reactions to my DS1 (4) and DS2 (2). In my case, it's DS2 who puts me through the ropes. While he can be gorgeous, more often than not he seems to wake in a bad mood and stays that way most of the day. He also has a short temper and gets very agitated and destructive when he's cranky about whatever. DS1 is more testing his boundaries - not always listening etc, but on the whole he's a hell of a lot more easy going than DS2. But some days they can be a combined cyclone on my emotions and patience. I've always acknowledged that their behaviour is relatively age appropriate, but DS2 is very, very strong willed and can be really hard to deal with. Being pg hasn't helped me in regard to my reaction to them. Like you, I've tried time out plus other methods - diverting attention, rewards and praise and 1, 2, 3. Sometimes if works for me/us, other times it doesn't.

In my case, I've read the books ... I understand about positive/negative attention and the general "tricks of the trade" in terms of how to deal with toddlers/pre-schoolers ... but "knowing" what to do and actually "doing" it are two different things. Well, in my book anyway. So in order to amp up my parenting skills and to try and help DS2 deal with his temper, I've ended up going to a psychologist. Only two sessions in, so it's early days but the psych has had some really good advice so far. Plus it's an opportunity to debrief to someone completely removed from our family. I don't know that I ever sucked completely as a mum, but I knew I had to find a way to deal with my kids' behaviour better - more calmly and patiently. I love my kids to death and want the best for them. Plus I didn't want my reactions to guide the way they react to things. For me it was time to hook in and do something. I'm so, so, so glad I've taken steps to improve myself as a parent.

Good luck - I really hope you find things turnaround soon xx