DH's Shiftwork - Am I Being A Sook?

[fionas]

Oh I know ellasmummy!!! I'm sure some of my friends see us out and about at lunchtime and think how lucky we are but I think, who ever said they needed help at lunchtime for goodness sake? Not me, lunchtime is the cruisiest part of the day. Or like you said, we're out and DP is home.

[Astrid]

Don't know how you do it. DH did shift work when DD1 was a baby and it was pure hell trying to keep her quiet so he could sleep. Honestly don't think I could go back to it, even with the girls no longer being babies. Don't think you are being a sook

[fionas]

Thanks Astrid. I must be shattered because somehow DP has now become DH and I can't remember getting married

[Astrid]

Thanks Astrid. I must be shattered because somehow DP has now become DH and I can't remember getting married

just noticed that.

[Kmn]

Is it worth moving your day around - putting baths after lunch, and putting the biggest meal at lunchtime when everyone will be home to help?
I think you need to cut yourself a lot of slack here, rather than putting pressure on yourself to get it all done solo.

[Arcadia]

it sounds very rough.

My dh does looooong hours so I too do mornings and nights by myself.... We also have irregularity which I think is almost worse because it's really hard to find a rhythm.

The things that help me are cooking huge batches of meals on the weekend so the weeknight meals are sorted, and using the tv in the morning. We tape play school and it goes on first thing each morning so I can have some time to shower, breakfast and ease into the day.

Good luck!

[[M]umma[M]ia]

Afternoon shift is hard. Even finishing at midnight.. Ide still be so tired at 8am let alone 6:30am. Being a mum is even harder so I dont think your being a sook but I think you could manage your time better so its not so crazy for you. Bathing earlier etc. My DF works somewhat normal hours (8am-6pm) but I do most the tasks during the day and it can get abit draining but its not their fault. You gotta do what you gotta do.

[ellasmummy]

Yup fionas sooo many people say that, when we go out for morning tea or lunch. Sh*ts me!!

[Nelle]

It's not the easiest hey. I'm a bit lucky like Lilima in that, it's 10 hour days so only 4 days a week for us. I don't know what time your partner gets up, but maybe for when yours comes home on the 'earlier' times, with us, I get up and get the kids ready, and he just gets up in time to drive them - so I sometimes go back to bed, even with a cuppa and catalogues.

Main meal of the day at lunchtime also helps (when we're organised enough!), because then if it's a sucky night, it's lunch food - sandwiches and yoghurt and bed. Have been known to feed kids a dinner of yoghurt and fruit during their bath.

Probably what helps the most is sorting lunches and outfits and doing as much as I can in peace the night before. It means I can throw brekky at the kids, their clothes are right there all in the one spot and all our junk is already packed for the next day. It might get easier as your little one gets older too. I can not WAIT until mine are old enough to make their own breakfast! I dream about the day...

Also - don't know how you feel about this, but consider having your own shower at night? I totally used to not cope with that, but now my showers come whenever they come, and I find mornings where I can do a quick freshen up and throw on clothes so much less complicated than when I have to shower and dry my hair.

So I guess my 'tricks' are to do as much as I can the night before. And if it's all going to poop, fast food or yoghurt or fruit loops as a meal is fine. Totally fine. But I don't think you're being a sook. Managing little people is busy stuff, and those who do it without backup, either full time or part time, have a tough job at times, mostly mentally I reckon. Heck, those who DO have backup have a tough job! Me and DH love our kids, but some days it takes both of us reminding the other to just breeeeathe when someone is trying to stand on their head and we're just trying to put pants on them!

[fionas]

Thanks ladies. I think this thread has convinced me that I'm doing all I can to make it tolerable (I cook in bulk or meal plan so dinner is actually a breeze, DD1 generally has five or so full outfits in her wardrobe that she can just put on and I try to shower the night before but this is tricky because DD2 often wakes up mid-shower).

It's the absolute irregularity of DP's shifts that drives me bananas. His start and finish times vary so much even when he's on "earlies" or "lates" and he may work five days before having a day off or he may work eight days. Or anywhere inbetween.

So after seeing what a difference it made having DP home the last two days, I've decided to put DD2 into childcare next year starting with two days a week (in addition to DD1). It's a bit earlier than I'd wanted (she'll be about 18 months old) but a few days ago I felt lower than I had in a while and I think I really need two days a week where I can do something for me (bearing in mind that DP often works weekends so in effect, I'm giving myself a weekend). So I'm planning to study.

I appear to have become addicted to brackets.

[Doing my best]

My DH is a shift worker too.. And I dispise it too when he is only home in the middle of the day.. Or a long stint of night shifts which means I do the evening, night, and morning as well..

Suppose the positive I take is that if he didn't have this job with these kind of shifts, then I would have no choice but to work!

But I don't think you are a sook at all!!

[onthefly]

You could try some pretty ones {like these}