This gig is getting harder - venting and interested in your experience with 3 or more

[~Kim~]

For starters to all of you. I actually started to reply when you had no replies Santosha and obviously got sidetracked lol.

My youngest is now 2.5, and tbh I feel exactly like you wrote some days. It used to be every day. My DH works away permanently so it's just me against the world. Those days however are getting fewer. I am able to find more peace more often. I wouldn't say I even get more sleep, but after 8.5 years my DNA has adapted lol. My youngest is my most adventurous and confident which is scary, but she is also the most exposed child I have. All those little bits have been around forever to her and the novelties wore off quickly. I feel more confident (either that or I'm better at faking it lol).
I'm getting more independence as they do. 12 months ago I felt like that independence was never ever going to happen.

Those with older kids I heard the other day about a family with 3 older kids and everyone had things on and the family was tied up nearly every afternoon and weekend so the parents decided the family would take a one year sabbatical. So the kids took part in activities through school but all after school and weekend activities were stopped for the year. The parents also took the year of from all extra commitments. Interesting idea.

What do you all think?

I did that for about the last year. When dd1 was little I felt like we needed to try 'all the things', when really, if they don't love something, is there really a point to continue? I have very much limited. We only go out one arvo. I limit it to 1 play date. They do weekend stuff. Everyone gets downtime. Much better. And I only have small town travel. I can't imagine how bad it is in a big city....

[MummyNaomi]

I only have 2 as you know, but wanted to offer hugs and love. I find it hard to keep on top of 2 - and juggle work, school drop offs, child care drop offs, playtime, quality time, home duties, maintain friendships and pretend I have some form of social life LOL ........ so my point is this....... You are amazing! You are a chaotic, busy, sleep deprived zombie who despite your own harsh judgement, is in fact spectacularly fabulous

PS. I suspect only winning the lottery and buying all the adjoining properties and moving your friends in will create the village. Or using the money to hire a village........ I need a village too. We should so start that Belly Belly commune that often gets spoken of wistfully............

[*Ang*]

Those with older kids I heard the other day about a family with 3 older kids and everyone had things on and the family was tied up nearly every afternoon and weekend so the parents decided the family would take a one year sabbatical. So the kids took part in activities through school but all after school and weekend activities were stopped for the year. The parents also took the year of from all extra commitments. Interesting idea.

In theory it all sounds nice and everyone would enjoy each others company and just chill. But the reality is it wouldn't happen. My kids get on really well together but like all siblings they also have their spats and annoy each other. Going to activities/sports is their time out and gives them a chance to do something just for them. I can see the merits behind the idea but it just wouldn't work for us.

Winter is worse for us - between the three kids we have netball and soccer on a tuesday, chess club every second wednesday, music and soccer on a thursday, netball saturday mornings and soccer sunday mornings. So its not too bad, we do have other nights where we just chill and come home. We tend not to do playdates anymore as it is too hard to co-ordinate with all their friends sports and activities. DD2 is perhaps the only one who misses out their because she doesn't want to do sport or music so therefore does get dragged around a bit. I used to feel guilty about it, and still do sometimes but then I have to remind myself that that is part and parcel of being a family.

[Cassius2]

Oh Santosha you are speaking my language sista!

I was (am) completely blindsided by just how never ending and exhausting it is to parent 3 small people. it has just been relentless. i did put it down initally to the fact that our third baby was quite unwell and that i too was very unwell from a PPH and that those factors were the cause, but now i am wondering if it is just the dynamic of three small people?

For me, it is as well that I feel that there is no down time with them. Not to be confused with down time where they are not there, rather down time where we all sit together and enjoy quiet reading time, or craft time or something...anything! instead it seems to be a whole lot of conflicting needs and wishes (one wants to read, the other wants to dig a hole and the other just wants boob and/or cracker hahaha).

it is frustrating me no end that i just seem to not be as present as i want to be. i KNOW that i am missing out on some of the best years with my kids and am just too darn tired and overwhelmed to find a way out. I want a more simpler life but am not sure how to get there...but if i do get there i hope there is a village! Oh how i wish i had some sort of support network of a sister or brother or mother or aunt, or even friend (i have friends but not in that 'lets just hang out and fold washing and drink copious amounts of tea for a couple of hours kinda mate lol).

[Santosha]

Cassius, I hear there's some lovely tea drinkers in the outer east... maybe you need a tree-change