For those who have children of only one sex

[kelsbels]

*This may be a little sensitive for some*
Do you feel you have missed out by not having experienced a child of each sex? Do you get past it? Do you feel sad?

I'm pretty sure I'm having another girl (our second) and not sure whether I would be prepared to try for a third. It's funny, cos I have actually really wanted a second girl the whole time, but it occurred to me tonight that if I don't have a boy, I may never, and that has made me feel, I dunno, a bit of a yearning to have a boy I guess?

[Little Chicken]

Honestly, no I don't, but then, I have never yearned to have a boy. If we ever try for a third and we have another girl, it wouldn't upset me. Though I don't know how I would feel if I never had a girl.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

No, I've never felt like I'm missing out by not having a girl - in fact, I'm perfectly happy about it. I don't mind if Stormageddon is a boy or a girl, when DH decides we're having another baby (if I haven't gotten bored with waiting and said no more by then). I'd be thrilled to have another little boy. Yes, some of the girl clothes are super cute, but then you have all the girl issues to deal with - I'm happy to stick with boys.

But I wouldn't object to a girl any more - I would have been most upset if Liebling had been a girl.

[Lenny]

I have two boys and that's fine with me. Dh wanted a girl, but not enough to let me have 3 children.
I would be happy with 3 (or 4 ) boys, but that's just me and perhaps after TTC for so long i was just thrilled to have children.
I don't know what it's like to have a girl and probably never will, but i don't feel any sadness at all about that.

We're all different and have different 'pictures' of how we see our family. I think 2 boys is great - for me. It's ok if it's not for everyone.

[wysiwyg]

That people could consider my daughters anything other than perfect purely due to their sex makes me angry.

I totally agree with this (ok I do have one of each but prior to DS got all sorts of strange comments, from DD's ultrasound where the technician said to DH "and how do you feel about having a girl - very pointedly - to when we found out about DS saying to DH the technician saying that must make you really happy). It really does puzzle me as to why people so often assume you must have a desire to have one of each, and that women will want daughters and men will want sons - granted for some that is how it is, but as Lenny eleqountely put it

We're all different and have different 'pictures' of how we see our family. I think 2 boys is great - for me. It's ok if it's not for everyone.

[Nai]

I have 2 girls and couldn't be happier. I am an only child but always wanted a sister so my girls have what I always wished for. Dp loves it too, he has always been better at relating to girls than boys so he is happy. He gets the try for a boy comments and responds with " why would I want to do that "

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

If it helps those longing for girls - my son is my mini-Gok. We go shopping together, he gets a comic we can read together and I get a dress my son has found for me. Which, when I try it on (initially just to please DS, now cos it will look fab) it is invariably better than the dress I found and wanted to buy. He loves dressing me up and accessorising me, it's better than Barbie! Yes, I have bought a couple of ballgowns recently, nothing wrong with that.

[AnnaBelle]

A great thread ...here goes ...I have 2 boys and I am really happy with the fact I have 2 sons.
I think if I had 2 daughters I would definately have felt some disappointment and would have wanted to try again
for a son without question ...
But the urge to have a third after having two sons is not as strong.
It is intersting to ask myself why I feel this way and I can only think that it is because of my own family
dynamic 3 girls - who all pleaded for our mum and dad to have a brother for us (which never happened)
Its funny but if we had a third I would be over the moon to have a daughter !!
But at the same time would welcome another baby boy with joy !!
Hmmm Intersting

[LuluHB]

I'm pregnant with my 3rd girl and couldn't be happier. DD1 and DD2 are completely different in every sense and I love the people they are, not the gender they are. When we were discussing whether or not to have a 3rd, it was never about trying for a boy but about having another child.

I think its pretty natural to wonder "what if", but I'm not sure that you wouldn't have that feeling whatever gender IYKWIM.

ETA: Just wanted to add that I have the most sporting husband around and when DD2 was born my only concern was that he would feel he had maybe missed out from not having a son to share that with. I'm sure things will change as they get older, but one of the girls in particular is pretty damn happy out there on the golf course with her daddy, and no father could adore his children more.

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

I hoped DD1 was a boy, because I am the only girl with 6 younger brothers & I want a 'big brother' for any future kids.
We wouldn't change her for the world, she protects her little sister and does all the 'boy' things a son would have done.

We were quite disappointed DD2 was another girl but again now we wouldn't change her, she's just as much a tomboy (if not more) than her big sister.

We don't want any more and while I'm sad we have no-one to pass on dp's family name I don't really yearn for a boy!


Sent from my iPhone, more than likely while I should be doing something else!

[~Hestia~]

It's only early days for me but I feel okay about having two little boys We found out at our 19 week scan that we were having another boy. Admittedly I have had the odd pang about never having a daughter, but that is usually prompted by something on TV or a cute girls outfit at the shops. But even then it's just a passing thought like "I would've done that with my daughter if I had one", hope that makes sense!

Now that Buster is here I'm excited about my boys becoming great mates and sharing a room etc. Wanting a girl wouldn't be enough for me to go for a third as there is every chance I would have another boy! If anything I feel more sorry for my DH, I think a little girl would be the apple of his eye! Funnily enough he feels the same about me missing out.

Best of luck with your pregnancy, I think it's great to ask these questions so you have time to process it all before bubs is here

[Jennifer13]

I'm really pleased for DD that she'll have a sister. I'm pleased that we'll more than likely be able to stick with similar activities throughout their childhoods. I imagine them being grown up together.

I guess it's more of a thing for DP who feels that he won't get to share some of his interests with a child of ours, than for me.

I think I looked for all of the positives in a second daughter and realised there were more than I'd expected. And that just having another child was such a gift, that gender wasn't as important as we first thought.

[peanutter]

not really.

I was positive that Ziggy was a girl, so I was surprised to see a penis on the ultrasound!! But not disappointed.

I would love a girl of course, but boys are bliss too!

I personally wouldn't be going for #3 in the specific hope of having a girl ... if we decide we're ready and willing to have a third, we'll go for it - and be happy with whatever comes out (unless it's a giraffe ... we don't want a giraffe ...)

but there's loads of benefits of two boys ... they will be close in age, and we hope and pray that they're the very best of friends

[Gigi]

i have an only, and yes, i do wish i could have had a boy as well.

tiny family, older parents, wishing there was someone to look out for her, once i'm gone.

[LimeSlice]

I have 2 girls, and no more in my foreseeable future, and yes, it does bother me.
I have always wanted a boy, and whilst I love my girls to bits and wouldn't change them for the world, the thought of never doing some of those boy things upsets me.
If I were to have another girl I know I would be devastated.
I am working through it but yes, it still makes me very sad to think I will never have that very special mother/son bond in my life. Maybe it is because I have an older brother and know how fabulous it can be...?

[forshelby]

[QUOTE=peanutter;3004187]we'll go for it - and be happy with whatever comes out (unless it's a giraffe ... we don't want a giraffe ...)QUOTE]

Well said, Peanutter!

My number 1 priority is a healthy baby. As long as he/she is healthy that's the most important thing. Number 2 on the list is not feeling violated by the birth. Number 3 is bugger it, I want a girl LOL. DP and I have an agreement (until he changes his mind again) that if we have another boy, we may or may not try for a third. He says he really wants a daughter, and I support that because I always imagined myself as having a little girl. No matter the outcome though, 3 is my limit. That's a full sedan... hehe.

Did any of that make sense?

[meow]

I do think I may have missed out on something if I don't have a daughter. There is a whole facet of life as a mother of a daughter that I wont be able to be a part of as the "mother-in-law". Being involved with my grandchildren's pregnancies and birth will be different than it may have been if I had a daughter.

[Jennifer13]

I am working through it but yes, it still makes me very sad to think I will never have that very special mother/son bond in my life. Maybe it is because I have an older brother and know how fabulous it can be...?

That's a really good point you make, Lime. I have two sisters and maybe that's why I'm so glad that DD will have a sister too. I love the relationships I have with each of them, especially now we're grown. I have no brother and no reference as to how I'd get along with one.

We wanted a boy for ourselves, rather than DD. I guess I assumed a sibling of the same gender is preferred by our child (well, she did tell us how much she wanted a sister!).