Just wanted it noted for the record I did not use CIO or controlled crying with DD. We initially started in a bassinet, which quickly became co-sleeping, which progressed to side cot sleeping.
Like another poster I had to set the alarm to feed her until she had gained enough weight.
I agree with The Flying Butter - I'm sure there would be very few of us on belly belly at least who don't try to have some sort of sleep routine or cues at least for night bedtime but I guess most people don't think of that as sleep training - just common sense really.
With Moo I honestly can't remember when he went to sleep on his own. We rocked him to sleep until after his first birthday at least, even then he would need help now and again. When we weren't rocking or patting we would have to sit in his room until he was asleep and then crawl out without waking him Some time last year he consistently fell asleep without one of us in there, not exactly sure how old. I didn't mind just sitting there for the most part, it did frustrate me when he would get woken up by the door opening or something and we would have to start again!
Now at 3 he has started wanting one of us to lay down next to him at bedtime. If I'm alone he is happy enough to fall asleep on his own though. I feel his sleep issues are his personality, I think he finds it hard to switch off and relax, I also think he might be a little anxious. He still frequently wakes overnight, comes into our bed almost every night and is up extremely early every morning!
Now we have Buster who is one very chilled out bub. He comes across as very relaxed and is happy to just go with the flow. He slept through very young, weeks old. He does wake overnight at certain times like teething or wonder weeks but I can just feed him and that's it, Moo always had to be settled back to sleep every time. He has never wanted to be rocked to sleep, I did try when he was newborn (and various times since) but he cries until I pop him in his cot.
So long story short, from my experience it's the child and their personality
My DD has always slept very well. From only a few weeks old she was only waking once at night and by 4 months was sleeping from 10-6ish. For the first year of her life she always struggled with day sleep though (which is actually why I think she's always slept so well at night). It was by 'accident' that we learned DD could put herself to sleep at only a few weeks old when we lay her down whilst getting ready for bed ourselves. After that we would just lay her down and she'd goo and gaa herself to sleep. I hope DD2 is the same!!!
DS was a terrible sleeper. He went for about 5 months waking hourly, and then improved to only 5-6 times every night for the next year. He had massive hour long tantrums several times a night for months, as well as 1-2 hours of tantrum to get him to bed. It has been a very slow process with him and he didn't go to sleep by himself until he was 4 and slept consistently through the night until 4.5. He has an anxious personality.
DD was also not a very good sleeper, but I wonder how much of that was caused by being woken though the night by DS's screaming. She started going to sleep by herself at 2y3m when room sharing with DS on holidays. From about 2 she was waking once at night and DH was going in and sleeping in her bed. She now sleeps though 90% of the time since just before turning 3.
DD2 is not going very well in the sleep department either. She wakes 5-6 times every night and as a bonus every few nights she will wake up for an hour or three where she rolls around (co-sleeping), pulls my hair, divebombs my face etc. Not cool.
They have all co-slept after the first wake up, because they wake so often it is the only way I can survive. Oddly enough, they were all amazing newborns. They woke only once or twice and all were sleeping through by about 10 weeks. It all fell apart around 3-4 months, I guess when they become more aware.
I have thought about this a lot because I wonder if it is my crap parenting that has landed me a hat trick of cruddy sleepers. I definitely think that personality comes in to play e.g. for DS there was nothing else we could do because he would settle for nothing less than BF back to sleep and he was also very clingy to me during the day.
I have no experience to add as DD is going through all that now. But just wanted to say awesome thread! Someone should make this into a book titled 'reality of sleeping through'.
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Some time last year he consistently fell asleep without one of us in there, not exactly sure how old. I didn't mind just sitting there for the most part, it did frustrate me when he would get woken up by the door opening or something and we would have to start again!
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