No more babies! do you ever accept it?

[Trillian]

You do stop feeling that way. I didn't think I ever would and I often said I wonder if there is a switch that just turns off inside you when you realise you're 'done' because I thought those feelings would never go away! But after the kids started getting older and moving out of the baby stage I realised I was feeling more and more like I was done and now I don't feel like that at all. Certainly there are times when I remember the way it was to be pg or give birth and even certain smells bring back memories, but now they aren't painful memories that make me jealous, just pleasant ones where I can think about how special it was and I'm happy with that.

[The[cookie]Doctor]

hj I totally understand how you feel!
We have decided we won't have another for at least 5, and probably closer to 8-10yrs until we both finish degrees etc.
But i am hyper aware that by that time my babies will be grown and i may not want any more!!
I don't know how I will get through my degree without wanting to cave and have another baby!
After just having had a birth i was not 'happy' with (after the idea of labour and birth being more exciting than the actual newborn ) I think part of my 'want', at this stage (and for me it's hyper-estrogen-early-days ) is that I will definitely want to birth again (and yet, not, at the same time!).

I think Trillian is super-right, the longer we waited to fall pregnant with DD, the more I didn't want another because DS was becoming grown up. Hopefully in 12 months time when you are nigh on graduating as your DD2 is a bit bigger you will start to feel that as well as she grows out of her real 'baby' stage.
Big though!

[Amity]

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[Purple Penguin]

I am staring down that barrell myself at the moment, we decided that we wouldn't have another baby until I finish uni and have worked for a couple of years to get my teaching experience up. So it will be another 4 years until we even discuss having another, IF we have another because by then my youngest will be starting school and honestly I don't know if I want to go through a third horrible pregnancy.

[Maruschke]

I already know I will be finished when (if?) we have another child. I don't know why, but I can't and won't and don't want to go through a third pregnancy / birth / newborn phase etc.

[willow5]

I'm struggling with this at the moment. I have 3 boys, 17yrs, 20yrs and 22 months. I thought I was done after my first 2 and never had an issue with it. Then change of circumstance new relationship and hello number3 We agreed on just one, and I suffered with HG and swore never again. But, I'm now wishing for just one more. Once more to be pregnant, once more to give birth, one more time to breast feed, one more baby. I'm really sad that there won't be any more. Realistically I'm no spring chicken and the thought of HG again terrifies me, but I can't help thinking just one more. So I really hope the others are right and it does stop and you accept it, and be at ease with it.

[hj1981]

Trillian - thank you - gives me some hope of feeling better about it all one day, but that day just seems so far away

Dragoncookie - definatly your choosen career is going to make it hard! it certainly isn't helping me! i understand completely about the not being "happy" with your birthing experience and that adding to the feeling! i think that is really my case the more i think about it! i feel i failed both times in my labour, and i so want to try one more time! i even asked DH if i could be a surrogate for someone i hope Trillian is right too, thank you

Divvy - sorry

Purple Penguin - sometimes uni and work sucks hey! sometimes i think it wouldnt be so bad having another one once the older 2 are in school and i have worked a bit, but than other days i think i can't wait to have some time with DH again, you know like back in the days before kids, and the older they get the more closer that day gets! i do kinda miss him iykwim, do you think that too?

Maruschke - you will have another bub glad though that you know and can accept the fact that you wont have anymore, can you pass that feeling on to me

Willow - i wish that day would come soon for both of us! can i ask how was it going through the baby stage all over again after having 2 older boys?