Trillian - thank you - gives me some hope of feeling better about it all one day, but that day just seems so far away

Dragoncookie - definatly your choosen career is going to make it hard! it certainly isn't helping me! i understand completely about the not being "happy" with your birthing experience and that adding to the feeling! i think that is really my case the more i think about it! i feel i failed both times in my labour, and i so want to try one more time! i even asked DH if i could be a surrogate for someone i hope Trillian is right too, thank you

Divvy - sorry

Purple Penguin - sometimes uni and work sucks hey! sometimes i think it wouldnt be so bad having another one once the older 2 are in school and i have worked a bit, but than other days i think i can't wait to have some time with DH again, you know like back in the days before kids, and the older they get the more closer that day gets! i do kinda miss him iykwim, do you think that too?

Maruschke - you will have another bub glad though that you know and can accept the fact that you wont have anymore, can you pass that feeling on to me

Willow - i wish that day would come soon for both of us! can i ask how was it going through the baby stage all over again after having 2 older boys?