I have a DS who was wonderful as a 2yr old but since turning 3 in November (his first HUGE tantrum was on his b'day) has just become such a handful and I just have no idea on where to from here.

He spreads his toys through out the house & wont clean them up... So the other day after yelling, threatening to smack & actually smacking him on the bum after counting to 3, I decided another tactic was in order. So told him I'd throw all his toys in the bin if they weren't picked up. So after giving him time to do it, which he didn't I went & got the plastic bag & started putting his toys in it & the little bugger actually helped me put them in the bag for the bin... Now when I ask him to pack up his toys he says "just put them in the bin!!". grrrr
If I tell him (I no longer ask him anything b/c he just kept saying "No") he now says "I cant"...

This behaviour is doing my head in.. His starting peeing in his jocks, his no longer dry at night & back in nappies, his behaviour is just having such a negative impact on our whole family. I didn't even take them too the park today so his older sister missed out because I just couldn't be bothered w the fight

I don't think it's unreasonable to expect him to pack up his toys...

Any suggestions/ideas please, I just have no idea what to do with him..