Could you compromise?, ie, maybe only ask them twice and then give consequences twice? I certainly think that 2 warnings for your 4 year old is fair.
6 chances is kind of alot, especially if the kids are just taking the *iss and waiting to see if you do actually follow through.
My DS (3) gets 3 strikes. EG, "Lachy, pls pick up your toys, Lachy please pick up your toys or I will put them on top of the fridge, Lachy, if you dont pick these up now, they are going on the fridge." Then, depending on how fast he is, it either still goes on the fridge or he cleans it all up.
Mostly, he picks it all up just as I grab his fave toy and go to put it up on the fridge LOL.
I think its pretty fair warning for kids of this age otherwise I think they start to doubt the seriousness of it all.
Good Luck
I agree 6 chances seems like a lot. Have you looked at the 1-2-3 Magic principles? That's what I'm using with my 2 yo and it works well, although I haven't done the actual course yet (maybe in 2034 when I have time!)
I feel your pain. My DH & I are on different pages. He doesn't have much patience and he expects DD to do whatever he has asked straight away, prior to giving her time to process what he is asking her to do or he doesn't have her full attention, so she is engaged in something else then he wonders why she is 'ignoring' him. We often have huge blow ups over this b/c I give DD three chances then a consequence whereas he goes off tap straight away. I guess you need to sit down and come to a compromise - obviously neither of you are comfortable/happy with what the other one does, so finding some sort of middle ground and sticking to it and being a unified front will help. (I think I should take my own advice! lol) It might help to write it on a piece of paper and keep it handy so you remember what you have agreed upon. GL
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