I feel your pain. My DH & I are on different pages. He doesn't have much patience and he expects DD to do whatever he has asked straight away, prior to giving her time to process what he is asking her to do or he doesn't have her full attention, so she is engaged in something else then he wonders why she is 'ignoring' him. We often have huge blow ups over this b/c I give DD three chances then a consequence whereas he goes off tap straight away. I guess you need to sit down and come to a compromise - obviously neither of you are comfortable/happy with what the other one does, so finding some sort of middle ground and sticking to it and being a unified front will help. (I think I should take my own advice! lol) It might help to write it on a piece of paper and keep it handy so you remember what you have agreed upon. GL