DD1 has changed, she never used to be like this, I do not know what to do.
She would happily shop, play, accept No etc and has never chucked a tanty in public, until nowthere has been FIVE this weeks alone (Saturday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday Sunday)I am that person, the one with the shocking, screaming child at the shops.
She cries, whinges over the smallest things, which she used to accept.
Everything is "I want this, I want that" or "No I don't want to do that"
I want to get on top of this, it is doing my head inI just wanna cry.
Please help.
we have been going thru this with MR H too... i swear it is a school thing because we went thru it when MrI started school too.. Not only are they being taught to be more independent they also have the bad influence of 19 other kids lol
I know that that doesnt really help but i found you just have to sweat it out and it will end eventually!!
only other thing i can sujest is pack her up and send her to nanny's house ROFL
One thing I said to someone recently was that you have to remember they are a child, they have a different structure in their little brains to ours. We are so use to adult stimulation and sometimes we do tend to treat our children in the same light...a step back and a lighter approach sometimes is needed.
eg...would YOU like to go to time out? honestly it would make me more agro and defy what the person has said to me.
What works for me
Behaving in the same way back to my children to show them how funny and silly they are being.
Mini me cries and goes off about the silliest stuff....so when she does it...I copy her. They DETEST being copied....and will say stop copying me. Their focus is then off the original thing they started being silly over.
I also sense when my children are all edgy and aggressive if you like in their communication to me. I tend to think they need to burn off that anger and pop the music on LOUD and dance around like a twit....amazing how much fun you can have in half and hour and how settled and pooped everyone is afterwoods.
I personally dont think there is a reason to be cruel by taking things away or placing childrenn in a corner. They learn off us so what kind of example are we giving them by doing this? Life is fun...show them how fun it is..its shouldnt be about continuously growling at them.
Yeah it's nice in theory Maz, have tried it LOL. But then he still does the same things and still gets upset and by just turning it into something fun, we're ignoring what he's feeling about something. We are just working on helping him calm down so we can talk and work out what made him so angry. Time out is working... it's not used all the time for every little thing. I don't really see anything cruel about being taught to take a moment and compose yourself. Some of the time out I'm with him. I take him into another room and cuddle him to me until he calms enough to talk. I often find out what's bothering him by doing this and then we work out a different way to handle it, and he's actually really good at trying my suggestions... even if they don't always work! LOL.
Changing blatant disrespectful speech into a game backfires too, cos then he thinks he's being funny and it comes out of his mouth every 5 seconds.
I just read Janet's reply to my angry 4yr old thread.. and yep... think I'm definitely going to be working on at least two things that I know triggers it... tiredness and hunger! LOL. Just like we've said here. I need to think ahead for more structured snack times etc and a stricter bed time. We've avoided some crankiness tonight by having the slow cooker on and dinner was ready when we walked in the door just now. Hopefully we can calmly move on to bath time and into bed between 7/7.30 tonight!
Liz - I was just saying what works for me...doesnt mean it works for others. We are all permitted to our own views on parenting and I simply just answered someones question.
I was a hard mum with my first 2...I refuse to let that happen again. I saw the fear in my childrens eyes. Its a sickening feeling and something I will never forgive myself for.
Only you can work out what works for you and your child. Im sorry that your having such a terrible time with DS I truely hop ehtat you find something that works for both of you
I think she is testing you.. my frined has 5 childrne and i always listen to
DISAPLINE and CONSISTANCY.... so she knows what to expect before she does something naughty..
very importnant to not let her get away with Anything!!!! LOTS OF WORK FROM YOU I KNOW!!!!
BUT follow through is what she is trying to push!!!
I'm no expert as I am not yet a parent but I am a teacher so I would say I have had a bit of experience. I also worked in a preschool a few years ago.
Anyway, I agree with mummyof4. I rekon if you stay firm and stick to your guns DD will get over it eventually. She is probably just testing you out.
I've had similar experiences happen at school and in the preschool I worked in and I found that eventually the kids learnt to accept things if I stuck to my guns.
I am starting to have similar things happening with my 4 year old. I reckon really strictly stickin to my guns, keeping consequences totally predictable. But mostly, I just try my absolute hardest not to take him to places he does not want to be!!! LOL
DS has really been chucking the tanties at home lately, and pushing the boundaries when at other peoples houses. Something I have found myself saying to him (like a broken record) is "remember, if you be nice to me, I will be nice to you" it seems to get through to him most of the time and he thinks about it. Other times I end up throwing (err....I mean gently placing him) into his room and ignoring him til he eventually calms himself and apologises, then we talk about his feelings and how talking about his angry feelings with me helps him to feel much happier than when he kicks, punches and screams at me....
My 4 nearly 5yr old son (5 in Aug) doesn't go to any sort of out of home care and I think he is bored.. He goes to Prep next year and I remember my other son did this the year before he went to school as well.
Ans it doesn't matter how entertained I keep him.. Ie taking him to the park bike riding ect he just drives me bonkers.. Always asking him to stop. He doesn't throw tantrums as such but is just really naughty at the moment..
Liz, he sounds EXACTLY like my DS! So glad to know he is not the only one, I thought I had done something wrong to create such an angry 4 year old! I too wory about the teenage years if this is how agro he can get at 4 yars old!!
Nic, I started DS in childcare one full day a week and he goes to kindy pre entry for one arvo a week and being out of the house for just those 1.5 days REALLY improves his behaviour for the rest of the week, he is really needing to start full time kindy, just so he is entertained and learning new things everyday.
Please help me, I do not know what to do with DD.
there has been FIVE this weeks alone (Saturday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday Sunday)
I am that person, the one with the shocking, screaming child at the shops.
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We are all permitted to our own views on parenting and I simply just answered someones question.
and something I will never forgive myself for.
she thinks she is 21!
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