I am starting to have similar things happening with my 4 year old. I reckon really strictly stickin to my guns, keeping consequences totally predictable. But mostly, I just try my absolute hardest not to take him to places he does not want to be!!! LOL

DS has really been chucking the tanties at home lately, and pushing the boundaries when at other peoples houses. Something I have found myself saying to him (like a broken record) is "remember, if you be nice to me, I will be nice to you" it seems to get through to him most of the time and he thinks about it. Other times I end up throwing (err....I mean gently placing him) into his room and ignoring him til he eventually calms himself and apologises, then we talk about his feelings and how talking about his angry feelings with me helps him to feel much happier than when he kicks, punches and screams at me....