Really feel like I have failed as parent :-(

[boomba]

They get lots of excercise we are always running riding our bikes and exploring. They just don't listen EVER! I know it's just part of growing and learning but I am not coping :-( I want a time out too.
They fight about eating they fight about getting dressed anything I do they say no or just run off :-(
I am mentally exhausted. Everything is suffering :-(

HotI sounds interesting but how do get both parents to be on the same team? Dh just won't or can't parent like me?

I am slowly going crazy...but we desperately want another baby! I am so conflicted :-(

[Khaleesi]

It's hard Chick but your doing a fantastic job, My girls are the same as your boys.
If you want i can write a list of the things my girls do & i'm sure you'll better

Don't let this put you off having baby, you are a wonderful Mum & stop doubting yourself.

[BrightSparkles]

They get lots of excercise we are always running riding our bikes and exploring. They just don't listen EVER! I know it's just part of growing and learning but I am not coping :-( I want a time out too.
They fight about eating they fight about getting dressed anything I do they say no or just run off :-(
I am mentally exhausted. Everything is suffering :-(

HotI sounds interesting but how do get both parents to be on the same team? Dh just won't or can't parent like me?

I am slowly going crazy...but we desperately want another baby! I am so conflicted :-(

OMG!!! I could have written your posts word for word!!!!!! Big BIGGEST I can find!
I hope that you can find some good ideas that work for you. I have no advice as i'm right there with you. xxxx

[LuluHB]

If you swap the DS to DD, and change kick in the head to whack with a plastic baseball bat then you have my house. I grabbed DD1 by the shirt collar the other day because I was so close to losing it that I knew if I didn't do something with that hand it would end up doing an act I would very much regret later. I was talking to some kindy mums the other day and was telling her that I feel like all I am doing these days is screaming, and that I hate it. I had a "soft" moment with DD1 the other day and I honestly couldn't remember the last time we had had a moment like that and I just burst into tears. I don't know what's happening here either but my gorgeous well mannered, obedient (I hate the subservient meaning of that word but hopefully YKWIM), eager to please little girls have disappeared and total monsters have taken their place. General concensus from the kindy mums' chat is that its a stage so I'm just crossing everything that its one that passes oh so very quickly. Its been raining a lot here too which doesn't help.

In all honesty, having a new baby now is adding to the challenge of dealing with them (a lot to do with the fact that the little monsters know that I can't just get up and deal with issues immediately if I have A on my boob), but please don't let it put you off. My girls also have beautiful moments with their new sister so its not all a nightmare - in fact watching them with her is probably what gets me through the rest of the current crap.

Hang in there. Hopefully they will all turn a corner soon.

[Jaycee]

You haven't failed at all

We all have our breaking point, I'm not ashamed to say that I have been pushed to the limit and snapped on a couple of occasions. I'm not proud of it, but I am human., and I need to keep reminding myself of that, you should too

[boomba]

Thank you all so much for the support and wisdom.
I know I am expecting too much of them but sometimes I would just love 2 kids that would play quietly :-)

I am going to get them dressed in some old clothes and take them to a park to play in the puddles :-) and mummy might jump in some too!

[~Raven~]

What I discovered with mine was that they had a currency and that was their favourite toys or things. When they were threatened with the loss of them then we could negotiate improvements in their behaviours (ie when you tidy up your room then you can have your superman suit back). This is more for the 4yo than the 2yo though

[Rouge]

Whenever we had moments like this we'd go back to the basics. Structured play. Reminders of expected behaviour before situations rather than during when they are already excitable. Praise for the right behaviour. And activities without any boundaries so they can get the sillies out.

Gentle parenting doesn't mean kids don't have boundaries. And Even when consequences come into play positive reinforcement is still important.

But I also think when you have two people parenting differently it is hard. You may have to take the reigns more when it comes to boundaries.

And remember. Get down on their level, be calm, and have consequences. And just because a situation is over doesn't mean that they don't need a debrief and a reminder over a few days. They are learning. You are teaching them. As much as it sucks you are doing a great thing for them. You are teaching them how to live and they are teaching you how to love. Xxx

[HotI]

HotI sounds interesting but how do get both parents to be on the same team? Dh just won't or can't parent like me?

Aha, that is a different question. I am still working that one out. A few times DH has tried something that i didn't think would work, and it has. Similarly, he watches me do things and then i see that changes how he parents. I don't think i have all the answers, but there are some things i don't want my kids exposed to. So, there is a bit of give and take but we both have limits and try to respect each others.

DH won't read the books i get, but is happy to discuss the bits i find interesting. So that's kinda where we are.

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

hun, your not failing at all, your an AMAZING mum and the photo's i see of your boys playing with other kids, they always look so gentle and content.
I think the thing to remember is EVERY child can push the boundaries (even those who look like perfect angels in public).
I think you just need to work out a balance (like HotI has suggested) between what works for your DH that you accept and what works for you that he accepts.

DP and I have different ideas on parenting, i've come to realise that sometimes his way is right and others my way is right - our girls are quite spirited little people too, very full on and into everything and it's not easy.
Not only are they full on and curious in activites and exploring but also in the attitudes, it's hard finding the right balance.