Santa? Yes or No?

[krysalyss]

I don't see why it has to be one way or the other. Why can't you have the games but not make a big deal like it is actually real? That is what gets me. If your kids ask you if fairies are real do you say yes? You don't have to shove it in their face that it isn't real but when they ask you point blank what will you say?

[briggsy's girl]

I don't see why it has to be one way or the other. Why can't you have the games but not make a big deal like it is actually real? That is what gets me. If your kids ask you if fairies are real do you say yes? You don't have to shove it in their face that it isn't real but when they ask you point blank what will you say?

it's going to depend on her age and the context of the conversation!

it's up to each family to decide what they want to do - and a bit harsh to make out like it's a bad thing! maybe i'm reading the tone of that comment the wrong way, but it comes cross very judgmental - like parents that choose to encourage the belief with their children are doing harm to them!

is it really anyone elses problem? is it really so hard not to put your beliefs on someone else? if someone says "we believe in santa and we want to maintain that" - is it so hard to just not mention it? in the same way TFB is peeved that people knowingly say stuff to Liebs about Santa when they don't believe, why is it so hard for people to just avoid the conversation of santa if you're a non-believer and someone else DOES want their kids to believe?

society, as a whole, encourages kids to believe in the make believe. fairies, cartoon characters, puppets. i don't see anyone saying everyone should be saying to their three year old that Dorothy isn't real, it's just a woman in a costume! or that the puppet in hi five with the dread locks (yeah, i'm a huge fan, can't you tell lol) is nothing more than a bit of fabric with a hand inside it. yes, kids will learn the harsh truth eventually, but it's up to their parents to decide when they learn - and if they want to make a MASSIVE deal of perpetuating the "lie" and encouraging that magic in their child's life, who else does it hurt? really?

[Nai]

We aren't religious in any way, shape or form nor do we agree with the mass-commercialisation and over consumerist push around these sorts of "holidays" like Christmas and Easter but we do have Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny & the tooth fairy at our place. Christmas is special to us for many different reasons and is a time to spend with family and friends.

There is so little magic in the world these days that a little bit of joy goes such a long way and seeing it in the children's eyes is all worth it IMO. I didn't see any of my friends be too concerned when they discovered that these weren't real - obviously some children are but I think that has more to do with the parents and how they deal with it.

[fionas]

I used to feel uncomfortable with the lie of Santa and really haven't told DD too much. But she has picked up some stuff from childcare so I'm happy to go along with that without making a huge song and dance. I will most likely carry on down this path until the girls start questioning it and then say "some people think ..."

I was raised Christian, have been agnostic for years and most closely identify with Buddhism. As such, I intend teaching DDs a bit about all religions prefacing it with "some people think". I'm comfortable talking to DDs about Jesus because there is enough historical evidence to show he existed (whether he was the son of God and whether there IS a God obviously is a little trickier) and I'll go down the path of, "at Christmas we celebrate the birth of a really good man called Jesus ..."

[peanutter]

I don't think it's lying to them, it's creating a little of beauty and magic in a world that is so full of chaos. Santa falls in the same realm as that. Right now my kids solely believe in santa and fairies an the rest, one day they will be old enough to determine the difference between what they think is real and make believe.

I respect your choice as a parent, but I find that there is enough beauty and magic in the world that I don't find the extras necessary

it's up to each family to decide what they want to do - and a bit harsh to make out like it's a bad thing! maybe i'm reading the tone of that comment the wrong way, but it comes cross very judgmental - like parents that choose to encourage the belief with their children are doing harm to them!

is it really anyone elses problem? is it really so hard not to put your beliefs on someone else? if someone says "we believe in santa and we want to maintain that" - is it so hard to just not mention it? in the same way TFB is peeved that people knowingly say stuff to Liebs about Santa when they don't believe, why is it so hard for people to just avoid the conversation of santa if you're a non-believer and someone else DOES want their kids to believe?

^^yeah that. My brother and his wife have a son 4 weeks younger than DS, and they have santa. we've talked about it, and discussed how we will manage that difference as our boys get older, and we have some boundaries and strategies in place so we are both respecting each others' parenting choices - so they won't be contradicting us, but we won't be doing things which might burst the bubble for their DS.

It's very important for the four of us parents to respect and support each other. It's not a matter of "you're a liar!" -v- "you're a killjoy!". Rather, it's two valid, thought ought, loving decisions for two boys.

and at the end of the day, kids have been brought up with and without santa for quite some time now, and there haven't been fatal outcomes, as far as I'm aware

[krysalyss]

It was just a short post and not meant to be a big judgemental deal. Something I posted on my way out to work. I feel like most of this thread has been the other way. As if parents who are concerned about this want to remove all imagination and magic from the world. Bowing out of this discussion now.

[Butterfly Dawn]

Over here Christmas is starting to become a huge deal- commercialized to the max and in a country that is probably 90% buddhist its kinda weird. But its the only tradition I have stuck to. I have told the boys the story of St Nick and how he would give to the poor children toys he made, and that santa is away for us to remember him, but that Santa isnt really real.
The boys still love to watch all the christmas movies etc.
They think its fun to leave a Santa sack out the night before christmas and hope they have been good enough to get something put in it. But they also know its us that leaves it and its always a small thing.
We dont think that Santa should get the glory of leaving the best presents!
This is our compremise to keep the magic but to keep it real. I loved christmas as a child but was heart broken to find out it was my mum. I felt betrayed and lied to and stupid because everybody else knew he wasnt real.

[Asparagus and Lemons]

I think we just need to be mindful of other peoples parenting choices, whether that be about santa or other issues.
Nobody is doing it wrong. We just alll have our own special way for our children which is great.

[Tegam]

My mother has still never admitted that Santa isn't real. And I still get a gift of him every year ROFL. He does seem to have the same hand writing as my mother tho

We teach the children the real meaning of Xmas and will attend church. But I also like Santa as its someone to blame for all the gifts. I like the kids believing that they are being spoiled beyond what mum and dad would EVER do

[Tegam]

now you have!! I remember quite clearly the night I discovered the Easter Bunny wasn't real and I remember being so utterly devastated because Mum and Dad lied to us. We always asked them if they was real and they always said yes ....... I am not permanently scarred but the "magic" of Santa and the Easter bunny was gone and I knew my parents would lie to me. It was the worst feeling.

I don't have any memory from believing one year and not the next. I must admit I never answer 'is Santa real?' with yes I always say 'well do you think mum and dad could afford all those gifts?'

We are a family where Santa gets all the glory

[Bloom]

No Santa here either. Glad to see some other families doing that too! For us as Christians, Christmas is about celebrating Jesus' birth and there are a whole heap of lovely traditions to help us do that. But Santa has the potential to overshadow the real meaning so we are steering clear.

On a side note, I was browsing in a big news agency's book section and they had at least 25 different books for kids about Santa but only 1 about the nativity story. That's what I mean by overshadowing!

As Christians, we have a little tradition where the "gift giving Wise man" (aka DH in a king costume) hands out our presents at Christmas time. He does a little Bible reading first and explains why we have presents.

[Cherished]

I loved Christmas so ds will have Santa. I think anything that helps keep imagination and magic alive is great.

[Beautiful Disaster]

I loved Christmas so ds will have Santa. I think anything that helps keep imagination and magic alive is great.

I agree this year wont really matter as he is so little but def as he grows up. Gives a reason to get them used to waiting and asking nicely for things I think. Worked for me as a kid anyway


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[*Twinkle*]

We most definitely do the Santa thing. Kids need some magic and to use their imaginations.


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[PumpkinZulu]

Yep Santa over here too

[jacklicky]

We do Santa at our place. I remember the joy as a young child seeing this bag of presents 'appear' in the lounge room Christmas morning. Our family is Catholic so we still understood the religious side of things too.

I love seeing the joy on my daughters face when she sees a pile of presents all for her.....I wouldn't miss it for the world....

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Glad someone bumped this thread - cheers, Bloom.

I am going to "kill Christmas" for all my sister's children, when she has them. She and my mother have worked hard on Liebs the last four years. I hadn't thought it had gone in. Not just talking about "Santa" and "Father Christmas", but DVDs and stories with him in too. (FWIW, I don't mind the story of St Nicholas, that's a nice story. I know Santa Claus is a variant on St Nick, but in my mind that name is more involved with consumerism. The real Father of Christmas is the Father of Jesus - our Heavenly Father. Not a man in a red coat and false beard!)

This last week, he has started to talk about "Farmer Christmas" visiting with presents. I could cry, I really could. That isn't what we believe in and that isn't what Christmas is about. But now it is what my son thinks is real. His thinking is that Farmer Christmas can visit our current house, but won't know when we move so won't visit. I'm a bit perplexed as Farmer Christmas has never visited our current house. Will have to have a big chat about it all should he bring it up when we're not out and about and in earshot of other small children. Because I actually respect other peoples' parenting plans and strategies, despite many of them not respecting mine (OK, so most don't bring it up again after I say we don't do that, but many question/interrogate me about it).

[boomba]

LOve Santa/Father christmas/ the old fat man in red.....even though he is kinda creepy.....I tell my kids that fairies are real too! I love magical stuff and Christmas is so much fun here!

I love that Portable north pole thing too! Where you put in your childs name etc and Santa talks to them

But if you dont believe in Santa thats fine its a choice you have made and if you are happy then everyone should be happy for you!