Things you never thought you would have to say as a parent

[diva det]

and please dont tell me where you wiped your bottom after you did the poo in the bucket!!

[diva det]

"Why is there a raw potato in your bedside table??"
(his twin!!)

[kateo]

If you are going to feed the dog your rusk please do so, don't share licks with the dog.

[phebee]

Hahaha this thread is hilarious! Will have to wait and see what happens with DD.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

"No, I will not smack your bottom. No, I will not smack really hard. I don't want to hear that you love it, I am not going to do it."

He can't yet read Janet and John, but people say that 50 Shades is less taxing than those to read, so I do wonder...

[Taurean]

Another from the other day:

"Sweetie, I know you're just trying to help but next time you do a poo in your knickers, come and get me. Please don't roll it out onto the floor then scoop it up in a tissue" (said to DD1 as she handed me a fresh 'steamer' in a tissue )

[MrsFabuloso]

Another from the other day:

"Sweetie, I know you're just trying to help but next time you do a poo in your knickers, come and get me. Please don't roll it out onto the floor then scoop it up in a tissue" (said to DD1 as she handed me a fresh 'steamer' in a tissue )

OMG, sorry, I can imagine how horrid it was but that is absolutely hilarious!

[Novella]

Tauren I am cracking up right now thats hilarious! Shouldnt be 'kids sya the darndest things' it should really be 'kids make YOU say the darndest things'

A few years ago

'The dog is eating your poo?' cough, gag, splutter ...'well DD1 if you poo in his food bowl he will think its for him to eat' ...gag some more

[Taurean]

Yep, warm poo wrapped in a tissue delivered to me in the kitchen sure made my day It's certainly a story I'll be telling at her 21st!

Oh, poo in the dogs bowl, now that's a ripper!

[Frangipani Lou]

Rotfl! So much to look forward too :-)

[peanutter]

"no, darling, we don't eat people's pets."

[Teeki]

"Please quack quietly"

[Mum2SweetCs]

"Please quack quietly"

LMAO!!!

[feeb]

PMSL i love this thread!!

Poo eating and playing along with licking is the major themes!

[LimeSlice]

"...Please do not let your sister lick your bum...even if you are being cats...."

[Charlotte91]

Please don't wipe your brother's bare bum and then stick the wipe in your mouth!!

Please don't touch your brother's penis. That's his.

I know his balls are floating in the bath, but please don't touch them.

Please don't feed your brother muesli bar (at 4 days old).

Please don't stick your toe in your brother's eye. It makes him sad.

Please don't lick your toe.

[peanutter]

overheard: "Just because it fits there, doesn't mean we have to put it there"

scenario involved young boys, a penis and a belly button.

[LimeSlice]