Choices are our way of operating too, even though DD is probably not as headstrong as your DD2. It limits the need for me to hover and micromanage what she's doing and there's a clear consequence to either choice. Now she knows how it works, don't want to finish dinner = no dessert. She gets to choose and control what she eats and will happily tell us, I'm too full Mummy, I won't have dessert tonight. It was a process too, from do you want to wear this or that to you can choose what you want to wear, but choose colours that match. I get that's not important for everyone, but it means she is also choosing appropriate clothes for preschool (not dress ups, for eg!). If you want me to play a game with you, you need to clean up the toys you've finished playing with first. She doesn't have to clean up, she can keep playing with them if she wants, but then she's chosen not to play the game with me.
I say ''i thought we would do ....... after we have picked up all these books, what do you think?''
or ''oh, you want to have....., what a great idea. lets just finish lunch and we can have that''
or if there is something she cant do and i cant offer an alternitive i say ''oh, id love to do that to, i love doing that, oh, we will have to wait and do it another day''
if i am being impatient or not thinking and just say NO or LATER she cracks it and we get nowhere!!!!!
I think if you can find a way to get through the day without a huge battle i think thats the best and only way to parent! Sounds like your doing great!
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