Choices are our way of operating too, even though DD is probably not as headstrong as your DD2. It limits the need for me to hover and micromanage what she's doing and there's a clear consequence to either choice. Now she knows how it works, don't want to finish dinner = no dessert. She gets to choose and control what she eats and will happily tell us, I'm too full Mummy, I won't have dessert tonight. It was a process too, from do you want to wear this or that to you can choose what you want to wear, but choose colours that match. I get that's not important for everyone, but it means she is also choosing appropriate clothes for preschool (not dress ups, for eg!). If you want me to play a game with you, you need to clean up the toys you've finished playing with first. She doesn't have to clean up, she can keep playing with them if she wants, but then she's chosen not to play the game with me.