One big thing I think I do as a parent now much better than when I started is food. We are completely hands off, there is no conflict over food, our children all feed themselves (even DS2) completely independently. I keep having to say “It’s our job to offer them food, it’s their job to eat it”. DH and I model good eating behaviour, we eat healthy food, we don’t fill up on liquids (like juice or milk, except BM for DS2 of course). We all eat together at the dining table, they don’t have to eat their dinner but they do need to sit with us and make conversation and there isn’t any other food options. We are totally crap with sleep, sleep is all over the place for all of us but I think we do food well. For me, I can cope with the sleep issues because we don’t have food issues.

Just one other thing WRT tantrums, I read it recently here on BB but I can’t remember who said it (my apologies), “tantrums are not a sign of defiance, they are a sign of distress”. This has really helped me show and have compassion at in a situation where I really struggle.