Whenever I feel like I'm about to boil over, I sing the first four lines of Amazing Grace. It sounds weird but humming/singing distracts me from whatever it is that is frustrating me and centres me, making me feel like I can cope.

The song makes me think of all the folks who have had a terrible time and made it through it because they didn't give up/in (thinking of Mawson in the South Pole). I'm always interested in inspirational stories of courage and I think we underestimate ourselves about how resiliant we really are.

You could sing whatever you wanted to, as long as it calms you. I do sometimes sing Adele songs or whatever is in my head at the time.

In regards to tantrums, I will get down to DS's level and say in a very soft voice. "I understand you are frustrated at not being able to do XYZ, but we can't do that now because of (insert reason here) and I promise that next time we do *** then we can do XYZ".

I also stick by what I say. Three warnings and then it's out/taken off him/whatever needs to be done. The flipside of this is when I say I'm going to do something, then I have to follow through, so we have often gone shopping and I've spent 10 minutes waiting for him to play on one of those rides at the mall, until he's ready to move on (or I can bribe him with food/lollipop).

Oh and I always tell him I love him, but not that behaviour. And I explain everything and why I do the things I do.