Anyone a Tizzie Hall fan?

[Aussie_Chik]

Hi All

I have been following Tizzie's sleep routines since Tommy was 6 months old - amazing!

However, now he is standing up in the cot I want to know what advice she gives about this, but I can't seem to find any among my literature?

Anyone out there know what she recommends?

I have been going back into him after a few minutes and without saying anything lay him back down, he seems to get a bit worked up over this but eventually goes off to sleep. I wonder though if I'm doing the right thing???

[Fi]

Not a fan, but how great that the routines work for you!
We just lie Jenna back down and see if she will go back to sleep if she's bouncing around in there.
If not, we either let her play until she goes to sleep, or we get her up until she does the tired signs again, then the battle starts over again!

Fi

[Astrid]

Sorry not much help here - not a fan at all. I want to ask Practical Parenting for a refund due to her articles. I was interested to read her article on overtired children, then all she said was overtired children need more sleep(as if we did not know that).

Anyway have you been to her Save Our Sleep website, she has article there that you can purchase that are for different issues. Also she seems a lot like the Baby Whisperer, so you one of those books could help you.

[BellyBelly]

Not a fan of sleep and / or feeding advice from Tizzie or other childless ex-nannies / nannies / childcare workers at all I am afraid so no help there. As one midwife said to me which I think is a crack up:

"dairy farmers may milk at the same time each day, but calves feed all the time, whenever they are hungry. As human babies need to. Who is hungry at the same time every day? All animals feed as required and I am yet to see one with a watch."

-- LOL!!!

I don't believe in leaving them at all without human comforts, especially while crying, which some of these experts promote and some don't. And if you read 'Raising Boys' it will tell you that boys are especially prone to feelings of abandonment so I don't like doing it to Elijah. The sleeping has been getting out of control a little here with Elijah so Cailin popped over to give me a pep talk and we are back on track. I stay with him, at first we had to make the cot fun (in a comfy way iykwim) which we've done, now he knows when he goes there he's safe and okay. Then I close the curtains, sing to him, as he gets more tired I lower it to a hum and then nothing. Then he's asleep. He's been crying less at night, knows whats going on and I think if you are consistent with something it works better. When it's consistent and gentle to their needs, I think it's less likely to go off the rails. Of course it does go off the rails at times, Elijah got all 4 molars at once, dad has hardly been here all month, we are moving, I am stressed and it's his first week of occasional care!!! So thats alot for a little fella. So gently is working well.

ROFL Astrid, you go girl!!!! I reckon Pinky should be getting more articles in there than Tizzie, Pinky is such a great gentle motivator and confidence builder. Amazing how someone can be an "international sleep expert" without children!

I think the hormonal response you have as a mother is enough as a guide to tell you what you need to do, so I wonder if the sleep experts out there really have any idea as to know what it feels like to have these hormones kicking in and if their methods will change when they have children? Or one with colic? Or triplets with colic LOL! :-k

In my own opinion, I think those without children giving advice without substantial psychological knowledge specific to birth / babies and children is not good at all, they have no knowledge on what that advice is doing in ways they don't know, physically, emotionally, psychologically ... and many lactation consultants are there picking up the pieces for those poor mums who have babies with FTT (failure to thrive) as a result of unsuitable routines and schedules. I know some post-natal workers are reporting lots of cases of unhappy babies and mums thinking their babies don't love them or aren't bonding with the when they have done some of the more 'famous' routines which involve things like no eye contact at night etc. I would be ****ed off if I was sleepily snuggling up with my hubby and he kept looking away from me each time I tried to connect with him. Anyways... off my soapbox.

[Tracey]

I agree Kel, I keep bedtime as routine as possible.
Even if we have friends over I still bath Indah & let her have a nude play etc, whether friends are over or not, beacuse then she gets all snuggled up & swaddled, her bottle & she then goes to bed. Most nights she is awake when going to bed, but she sings & talks but goes to sleep....
As time has progressed we bath slightly earlier & now she is pretty much in her cot by 9:15pm... So DH & I still get some trime for a cuppa & chat before we crash too...

I used to think... "let them cry, a baby cant die from crying....!"

I know now how heart breaking it is to listen to my child upset....

Sorry I have no idea who Tizzie is even...

[Melinda]

I have to agree with the comments regarding Tizzie Hall - I'm not a fan.

I also agree wholeheartedly with Kelly's comments about being consistent and gentle to their needs. We've done EXACTLY that with Jacob and can honestly say that it's worked really well for us all. I honestly believe that because he knows we are there when he cries and to reassure him that everything is ok and to help him to sleep when he needs it, that it has helped his self-confidence in other areas.

[Fi]

ISn't it interessting that noone has posted to say they are a fan?? Oh well Tizzie!

I have always agreed with not letting a baby cry too, but if you had my devil baby the last week, well there isn't much I can do. Nothing that normally works has worked, and I ended up having to fly Shane over to NZ to help me. It has been a nightmare.

Even if I try to comfort her, she pushes me away while screaming. Very distressing, and I have had to walk away.

Anyway - I digress.....

[BellyBelly]

Awwww Fi I am sorry you're having a rough trot. There are some times where you just can't console them and if you aren't coping then sometimes it's okay to put them somewhere safe and get yourself back together again for a few minutes. I have had to do it a couple of times too as I am sure many have. Raising little people is so hard. It really is the toughest job in the world. Don't forget to have some time out for you xo

[Rouge]

Fi And remember you don't have to HOLD them to be gentle, being with them and reassuring you are close, allow them to tell you what they want sometimes they don't want a cuddle either and sometimes they just want to cry... I think kids can feel smothered too, so let her guide you if she pushes you away stay close and talk calmly to her (I think this helps us too, it has for me before thats for sure!) but be in reach so that if she does change her mind she knows you will be there for her.

And like Kelly says don't beat yourself up if you need to get some space, a happy mummy is important too!

You are doing a great job!

*mwa*
Cailin

[christy]

aw Fi *hugs* Matilda does that so much. I find it heartbreaking that a Mummy cuddle can't fix it. She often has pushed me away and only stops screaming when I am out of the room. But I have come to figure with her that she needs her own space (very independant sausage) so when she needs her space I give it to her & that is the gentle way for her. I don't leave most of the time but sit on her bed with her & am there if she needs a cuddle. Lately she's been doing her own thing & will jump up for a cuddle during it & go back down when she's ready. HTH!

[Tracey]

Oooh, Fi...
I find those times best to go outside & hang washing on the line... Or check the letter box... Just leaving maddy (when younger) or Indah when the time comes... In her cot or a safe place where she cannot hurt herself etc & then let them know I am just.... whatever it is I am doing.
Then once it's done I say Ok, I am coming back now for kisses & cuddles....
It seems to work as we have both had a chance to calm down from the situation..

[Trillian]

Kelly, funny you mention that about PP in regards to Tizzy Hall articles compared to Pinky McKay. I regularly get PP because I think many of the articles are very informative, but have always disregarded Tizzy's articles about sleep (and so do many of the other PP readers judging by the letters!) Although in this months issue, Pinky has a very witty column in about 'The Gender Agenda' (I hope I can talk about this - please remove if I can't) and Tizzy has her usual sleep column.

I had no idea though that Tizzy has no children and is only a nanny. I've always been a bit weary about people with no kids giving advice too.

[Astrid]

To me Tizzie's articles are really advertisements for her sleep service, as often she will say "follow one of my routines", and where do you get her routines? Off her website for a fee (occasionally she will publish one for free). So to me her articles should be listed as a "paid advertisement" like other suppliers have to when they are basically producing an article for the sole purpose of pushing their product.

For some reason I still cannot help but read her articles, even though they make me mad! I remember reading her article which had a routine for a 2 week old, Maggie was also only 2 weeks old. It made me cry, I thought this Tizzie women was totally inhuman for thinking a new mother and baby could be put into a strict schedule. We are not robots.

Sorry Aussie_Chik, we have kind of hijacked your thread.

[Trillian]

I remember reading that aricle too Astrid and basically though it was cr@p. You can't put a 2 wk old bub in to a routine like she was suggesting. A very old school idea if ever there was one! I also didn't realise she operated like that - what a cheek she has.

[Astrid]

The types of advice she gives makes sense coming from the point of view of a nanny. I assume as a nanny that there is a strict schedule to follow, or that it is easier for the nanny to have one.

Really is was reading Tizzie's articles in the early days that helped to contribute to me losing confidence in myself as a parent. Of course it was not just her, it was people in general, other baby programs such as the Baby Whisperer etc. The main problem is that there is no disclaimer with the information stating that there are other ways to do things, it comes across as if it is the only way. Unfortunately main stream media is yet to fully embrace gentle parenting, I know that there are natural parenting publications out there, but to me that is putting my self and my parenting in a box. I would really love to see more articles where different points of view are given on topics. Practical Parenting did one on CC that had articles by both Tizzie and Pinky, I really want to see more of this with other topices, as I feel that it enables parents to make an educated choice, rather than blindly following a method just because it is in a magazine.

[Tracey]

My older sister is a Nanny & she had Indah 3 days a week for us...

The children she looks after are always cuddled & she said she goes by whatever the Mother & Father have asked of her.
There was 1 family whom were routine focused & she said the parents were too busy for their kids & she never saw hugs etc... So whilst she was there they'd sit down & read books, build cubby houses etc...
The Mother asked my sister one day to explain games etc she had played with these children & the Mother broke down saying she had felt pressured into routine, routine, routine & realised then that her kids needed love, love, love!!! She quit her high flying job & my sister worked with her 1 day a week almost teaching the Mother how to enjoy her kids!
She eventually was no longer needed...

Most of the kids she nappies for, ejoy walks in parks, she takes them to Book/reading time at the local library, they do baking, make things etc...

I am more than happy with her looking after Indah... Coz I know she will cuddle her rather than ignore her!!!

[Fi]

Hey all,

Thats SOOOO funny you are talking about "that" article of Tizzie's!! I actually got so irate by the article, and thought what a crappy thing to do for new mums, I sent in a letter and got it published. It was about 4-5 months ago?? A purple cover with a baby in a towel on the ground I think.
And I compeltely agree with you shannon. She seems to aim it all around "babies need routine" but it reads like "parents want sleep".

Thanks for the comments re Jenna. I carry a monitor around my parents place, so I can tell what sort of cry it is. It breaks my heart to hear those completely distressed screams, and the only thing that stops them is gettin her out of bed and letting her see the world, despite the fact she is rubbing her eyes like crazy!!!

And I would liek to see Pinky with the 2-3 page spread!!! Why does the real expert get a column and this woman, who alot of people disagree with get more space?

[Astrid]

Fi - I remember your letter (can't find the mag at the moment though) I was soo happy that someone wrote in. I really should get off my butt and write something. If enough of us write in then maybe some more balanced articles will be written.