Very often, there is an underlying problem like in this example. I have had problems putting rissy to bed and she was having a mighty tantrum... when I listened I found out that she was actually missing her dad, not being stubborn about going to bed. Only by active listening can you find out the real problem and help them solve it so they are happy to go to bed. This works for me everytime. Going to bed is never the problem. Just like many other things our kids tell us, there is always something else underneath that. I also think adults are guilty of this too. We complain or argue with our partners about 'he said, she said' or things like that when really the problem is we feel hurt and sad that our partner was late home from work all week and we miss them. But we mask them as anger or other feelings - and talking helps to get to the bottom of it.