Save Our Sleep

[Ginger]

yep i agree Shanti. i'm making the most of the cuddles with my boys at the moment. I often lie there just taking in the moment, particularly as we are not having any more kids, so i really want to savour this time when they are so young.
i've read all of pinky's books too. i think they're great.
The science of parenting really spells things out in a simple way i think, and just confirms everything we're already doing. it's great to have it as a source of support.

[MantaRay]

I have tried very hard not to post in here. But here I am!

I have read the entire book. I didn't follow it and I don't like it but each to their own. I have two boys that are brilliant sleepers, very independent, great manners and fantastic eaters. I am always getting comments about them - DS2's family day carer just can't believe how grown up, happy and helpful DS2 is and how well he eats and sleeps. So I guess that can happen without SOS

My reason for posting however, is that I get quite concerned when I read about babies sleeping through from 4 weeks. Babies should not be sleeping through at this age - usually it is a sign that they are not getting enough milk and are too sleepy to wake up. The whole physiology of babies and breast feeding is that babies feed often, and that night feeds are particularly important. DD, if you are happy with the results you achieved then that's great. But I think it's important to point this information out for other mums so that they are not setting themselves unrealistic and potentially dangerous expectations.

And now I'll bow out.

[Persephone1]

I haven't read TH or Pinky, mainly because I haven't given birth yet - but I will be attending a Pinky seminar in the next month.

I bought The Science of Parenting and thought it was fantastic before I finished the first chapter. DH has a habit of reading whatever is lying around, so one day he picked this up and hasn't put it down - he's now raving about it. He's already been able to identify some of his own upbringing that has had an impact on his emotional development (my DH's Mum was very ill when DH was only 2, and spent considerable time in hospital - this has had a huge impact on my DH, who's attachment to her was obviously severely affected). Anyway, Science is a fantastic book.

I've picked up TH's book SOS and flicked through it. I don't like what it values - sleeping through, "well-behaved" children, etc...these are not my priorities for my infant. I don't doubt that SOS works for many parents, but I don't think "working" makes it "good."

I recently re-watched the BBC "Bringing up Baby" series (which showed three different parenting methods - based on the Continuum Concept, Dr Spock, and the Truby King method (controlled crying, 4-hourly feeds, etc). The mantra of the Truby King style was that it "worked." Nobody doubted that - but again, just because something works, doesn't mean it is the best thing for a baby.

Anyway, I've hijacked the thread, which I know is primarily about TH's SOS. But I think that in itself opens up the debate about other parenting theories anyway. I've given my (still open to ideas) 2 cents.

(And here's my other 2 cents):
I note that some of the parents who like SOS and have found it to work become very defensive when it is criticised. Why is that? If it works for you, great. If you have nothing to hide, then why so defensive? I don't think anyone is being judged for using SOS, but critics of it are entitled to present contrary information so that everyone can become more informed - and vice-versa.

[Deltadawn]

Issy - You have totally missed my point . My point is that there was once a time (for e.g.) that everyone thought the world was flat and then it was disproven. All I am saying is that while you read numerous supporting publications on your theories, there are probably just as many publications out there disproving them. I'm certainly not saying you're misinformed, I'm just saying that what may be fashionable now may very well be old news tomorrow. I have one word for you - Thalidomide. I wonder if those GP's prescribing Thalidomide at the time also stated "with absolute conviction" that it was safe. I think it would be incredibly naive for anyone to say anything with "absolute conviction" when it comes to child rearing which is a forever changing science.

Shanti - I agree, all kids are different. I was referring to bedtime tantrums only. I would happily invite you to playtime at the shopping centre when it is time to go home

MLM - Thank you!! I also chose to FF as I was turned off by BF (something else I never felt comfortable discussing on BB - thanks for your admission!!!).

My point - OK, all I am saying is that in my experience, when I started this method my DS cried for 32 minutes the first night, 12 minutes the second night and 4 minutes the third night. On the fourth night he fell straight asleep and woke happily in the morning. Now, at 6.50pm every night and 11.50am every day, he gathers up Mickey Mouse and his blanket and happily toddles off to bed. This technique worked for my DS and I fail to see how this has affected him for life. I still get my cuddles and my kisses and my quality time with both my boys. I think the fact that Mummy/Daddy hold babies down for immunisations several times in their young life (and yes, I support immunisations) would be more detrimental to them than a couple of nights of crying. Would this be classed as gentle parenting? Just something for people to think about ......