For those who use routines

[miss.cinders]

My sister did the EXACT same thing for 2.5yrs.

I guess if you want a 'strict routine' but still go out and about.
Get bub used to sleeping in a pram or sling while at home too.

My kids always ate[bf] & slept whenever they wanted & where-ever we were... so my advice probably means nothing lol

[toomanyshoes]

DS we had a routine but I wouldn't say we didn't deviate from it, we keep doing most things at roughly the same time but we worked with it if we wanted to go out etc.

DD really didn't have a routine at all.

They were completely different and required different approaches.

[megs]

I use a routine to a point but am flexible with it. I did read a book, but I just picked a few things out of it. Such as my youngests son always went down around 9am and 1pm for a sleep. I never every woke a sleeping child just because a book says to I figured if one day they needed 3 hours then their body needed it.

If we were going out I just tried to keep with it. Say we spent the day in town I would still give him lunch around the normal time then at 1pm I would lay his pram back give him his dummy and teddy and he would pretty much go to sleep.

There were days though (especially with 2 older brothers and fitting in kinder etc) where the routine just didn't happen.

I think the key is flexibility, my little man knows that when he is put in a sleeping bag, dummy and teddy then it means sleep whether we are at home or staying at Grandma's house.

[sasha]

The only routine I've really stuck to with both of them was the evening one, which we still keep to. It's not really, really strict, but it is roughly tea at about 5-5.30, bath, little bit of play time with Daddy and then teeth, books, bed. I find if I keep to that rough idea (sometimes we don't have a bath, if it's later than usual), then we can work with whatever during the day.

With the naps when they were really little, I used to wrap them, pop in the dummy and put them down (both were fine on the floor, because that's what they were used to at home - just used to sleep in a quiet spot in the loungeroom for naps so they could hear us moving around and we could hear them if they cried).

[angelaartsstudent]

We did routines from a book...strict at first when P was younger, then eased up as she got older and based it around her natural sleep times and etc.

She still goes to sleep at roughly time same time each day, for her one day sleep.

She CAN stay awake if we want to do something in particular, but she gets into a very bad mood later in the day.

[ladybird11]

We've got routines in the way of doing things eg, after dinner the kids know its bath, bottle, story then bed time. We don't always do things at set times though, so we get flexibility through that - and the kids don't go to pieces if we're running behind time, or having dinner out at night.

DH's step sister has a 5 yr old and 3 yr old and she is really strict with timeframes and routines. Now she wants to start going out in the evenings with her DH and apparently the kids scream their grand parents house down when they leave as they're so used to their routines.

[MummaSue]

My best friend has stuck to the CLB routine very rigidly and hasn't had much of a life the past year. And now because she's done that, her little man is quite rigid and it's hard for them to do things.

We have a "pattern" to the day but it doesn't revolve around times. DD can stay awake for around 2 hours - so we let her nap wherever we are. It works really well for us.

The only routine that we stick to is the bedtime one but again, there is no set time for that.

xxxxx

[dusty]

We have a "pattern" to the day but it doesn't revolve around times.

Same here so far. I try to get 3 sleeps in but the timing is pretty flexible depending on when DD wakes and whether she shows tired signs. Bedtime is somewhere between 6-7pm depending on the previous points as well. I find the 'routine' we use is the bedtime 'cues' hence DD knows its now time for sleep & this works well.

That said DD is only sleeping in her bed so far. Next step is to try sleeping in the pram/carrier while we are out. But it is early days for us anyway. The 'routines' I've roughly based ours around is Safe Sleep Space and BabyBliss but I don't 'follow' their routines per se rather use them as a guide.

I find I can make plans for the morning and later afternoon quite safely but I let the middle of the day be quite fluid and on our terms. I hope to be more flexible over time. I think if DD can get one good sleep in the day then I will be more flexible with the others.

[Junglemum]

We generally have a routine, and like others it is pretty flexible. I never restrict our daily activities because it might fall across sleep time. I do try and fit it all in but sometimes it just doesn't work like that. You asked how do we deviate? I'm not 100% on what you mean but here are a couple of examples;
* Dinner time is around 5pm here, any later and the girls start getting cranky, but if i need to deviate from that, i just give them a snack at about 4 to tide them over.
* Day sleep is generally around 12pm here, if we're our and DD2 falls asleep i either let her sleep in the pram or carrier, if we're in the car i try and transfer her but if it doesn't work out it's no big deal, she might just go to bed an hour earlier that night. Although as she's got older she transfers 99% of the time now.
* If i have an appointment over DD2's sleep time, i'll try and pop her down ealrier or keep her up and be prepared as i know she'll be a bit cranky...
* we have a dinner bath, books bed routine, but we chop and change a bit as to who does it, and we let grandparents and friends help if they are around, that way the girls respond to other familiar people at bed time. We aim for 7 but sometimes it's 8. The girls get crankier the later it gets though, so that's my incentive to stick to time if i can!

As for a new born baby and routine, i guess we kind of fell into one. The girls both fed 2-3 hourly and would sleep where ever we were, cot, pram, sling. So although the environment was always different their sleep routines remained similar. I found if i missed the tired signs and didn't put them down our day would turn to pot.

I think there is a real variance in the meaning of the word 'routine'. And i sometime think there is a bit of a stigma attached to the word. But i think you can use a routine and still practice gentle parenting.You don't have to be one of those people who have a routine that runs their life. Overall i've found that my girls respond best to a little structure in their day so that's what we aim for.