That sounds like such a sad and horrible situation to be in. Sometimes the kindest thing we can do is to do the hardest thing. For the dog trainer to say she is very disturbed is so very sad, I cant even begin to imagine the fear and emotions your dog must experience on a daily basis. You have been giving her the greatest quality of life and it sounds like she is a part of your family, you love her unconditionally. Im so sorry that you are in such a hard position