Lara - or RnC - welcome to our special little group, congratulations on your pregnancy!!!!! - but I am deeply sorry that you're here in this group, sorry that your precious twins died and couldn't stay. Such beautiful names too. And I am sorry that your care was so compromised and you got sick. Ahh, I am pretty sure we all know the feelings you talk about. I am not sure it gets any easier, the more you advance in the pregnancy, but the fears and anxieties change. I don't dread going to the loo as much as I used to ( well sometimes, but not every single time like I used to), but there are different fears now.

Just so you know a little about the others that post here I will tell you about me, but pretty quickly. First pregnancy, July 2008, blighted ovum discovered at a dating scan at 8 weeks, m/c naturally. Second pregnancy, February 2009, 22 weeks gestation, spontaneous pre term labour. In hospital for about 24 hours prior to the birth - the baby was determined to come. Amelia, our first child and daughter lived for a while. She died in our arms. Third pregnancy - fraternal twins - July 2009 - our son Nicholas was born during a scan, then delivered. Too young to survive once the umbilical cord cut - he was our only child to come home with us before HB. There had been complications before that, including amniotic fluid leaking, bleeding and cramping. Never good signs. The next 5 weeks were some of the hardest ever, but despite our best efforts, our third child Sophie was born at 19 weeks, again spontaneous pre term labour. She lived for an inordinately long time and died in our arms. Having multiple losses I think at times is easier than a single loss, not that any loss is easy. I suppose there are more babies to share your love, and more babies to remember. Anyway, in January 2010, I was lucky enough to get another BFP, and after 7 months of bed rest, a cervial suture, and complete terror, and a little danger to both baby and me, I finally found out what it was like to bring a healthy baby home. HB is the true joy of my life. And so here I am pregnant again, right in the middle of the second tri which is gestation that is just so very dangerous for me, and this pregnancy coincides exactly with the dates of my pregnancy with Amelia. Hard hard times. I am just about to head off to a counselling appointment. Scared to go in case I kill my baby by going out, but I need to go, as I am just not coping this time. Not that I coped last time either.

Anyway, hugs my blossom, and looking forward to sharing this crazy rollercoaster ride with you.

In time I'd love to hear how you have memoralised your babies. But that will come - it's a long 8 months to go. Believe me, we all know!!

LANEY - OMG OMG OMG - it's only one more sleep (Aus time) until you get to meet your little boy!!!!! I can not tell you how super excited I am for you. You are in my thoughts constantly. I am sorry that you were in hossy, and I hope those contractions stay away long enough for your boy to come out through the sun roof.


I know what you mean about feeling like this will be your last pregnancy. I think if Raspberry Bear lives that will be it for me. Physically this pregnancy is so demanding on me, and I am not sure I have the strength to do another. It's a sad reaslisation - enjoy the fears while you can as it might be the last time you have them? Crazy. I am sorry it's been so hard on you too, all those adverse reactions. I know you'd hoped for another girl, but if you don't go again, then Shelby will be your one and only precious little girl. That's kind of how I think about Nicholas, he's our only boy, and he might remain that way.

Anyway, better go and make some lunches and get ready to go. HB is still asleep but we need to be gone in about 30 mins. Nothing like leaving things til the last minute.