Diana,

Congratulations to you and your husband on the arrival of dear Fabian. I was so thrilled to see that you had taken him to 28 weeks - the golden number as the doctors referred it to me. It is a shame that you had such a touch experience this time around but its wonderful that he is here with you - ready to explore this world under your wing. Well done mum!

From the first time I posted on BB I was amazed at how similar our stories were. We lost our little angels only a month apart, to the same problem with the same confusion over whether or not it was an IC or infection. I havent been on BB for ages because of the same thing as you... I had the most awful experience throughout this pregnancy (though I am pleased to say I have a beautiful healthy son named Jay Bradley). Anyhow, I found out at 17 weeks that my cervix had shorten within the span of a week by 2.4cm. I went in to hospital the next day for an emergency cerclage and was told the following day it was not a success and that my membranes had ruptured. We were going to lose this baby too. I spent the hole day waiting to have the stitich removed, crying and trying to brave as I knew what lay ahead for me again however, at 11pm that night when they could schedule me in to have the stitch removed, the doc saw on the ultrasound that there was plenty of fluid around the baby - there must have been a mistake! Can you believe it!!!!!

They kept me on bed rest for ten days waiting to see if they would break (I personally feel that the doc who diagnosed the mem rupture - who was a colleague of my ob) was embarassed and was hoping she wasn't wrong. But, ten days later, they still hadn't ruptured. I was sent home on strict bed rest - I didn't walk for 4 weeks - my ob was so mad at me, he thought I was going too far, but I wasn't prepared to risk it. Then, when I got to 24 weeks, they admitted me into hospital for 4 weeks to get me to 28 weeks. Like you would have experienced, I had the dreaded ultrasounds to see if the cervix was shortening further.. and sometimes it was a good result, and sometimes it was bad. So I prayed and prayed - I did the rosary every night, and I haven't been a practicing catholic for years!

In the meantime, I still wasn't walking - I was having bed baths and well.. you know the rest. Again, my doc was frustrated with my desire to stay off my feet - but he couldn't do anything because it was my choice. He sent up Psychs and all because he thought I was over doing it, but still I wasn't taking any chances!

Somehow we did it, we got to 28, then 29 and before I knew it I was 36 weeks pregnant and get this, they had to remove the stitch!!! I went into labour at 3.30am the day I was scheduled to have the stitich removed but it was considered real labour till 8.30pm that night. My little boy arrived into the world healthy - but my struggle was so horrible, I don't actually like to talk about it today.

So I wanted to let you know that I know exactly how you were feeling - we had such a different expectation this time round didn't we. I don't think either of us thought it would be like that again. I hoped the stitch would just make me normal like all the other girls...

So my heart goes out to you for the experience you had but I know if you are like me, this child is my every reason for waking up in the morning. He's so special to so many people - and I don't think its hard to believe that they were gifts from someone above to the both of us. I hope Fabian brings you every happiness that you so rightly deserve, you've been strong and deserve it.

Much love Diana, Jasmine and Jay xxx

So here you all are! I am soooo very happy to see all my old BB friends in the pregnancy section! CONGRATULATIONS to you all, absolutely fantastic news girls. It doesn't seem that long ago that we were advising each other on CM and praying for sticky embies..!! Congrats also to all the girls I have not had the pleasure of getting to know. I hope your pregnancies go well and your babies are born healthy and happy.

A huge congrats to all the mammas that had babies during this time! This forum has been very busy with lots of wonderful news....

Sorry I have not been in touch in so long but I was facing some pretty fierce demons during this pregnancy and just didn't have the strength to do anything but pray and cry.

As you all know, thanks to Beata, I had my little boy almost 5 weeks ago. You also know that I have spent most of this pregnancy in hospital and on bed rest but I made it! It was soooo tough but I made it!!! Fabian was born at 28w6days after my membranes ruptured at 28 weeks. My OB had only just taken me off bed rest 2 days before so I didn't get very far! He is doing very well and still in his humidicrib in hospital but he now weighs 1782 grams and is just gorgeous. He will probably have to stay for another 3 or 4 weeks as he needs to fatten up a little more. I can't wait until I can take him home.

Will try and log in more often to see how you are all going but please forgive me if I don't respond often. I spend 12 hours a day at the hospital, plus I express milk every 3 hours (including at night - it is so upsetting having to get up to a breast pump instead of a baby) so am really exhausted most of the time.

Take care and give your bellies a little rub from me!

Hugs
Diana x