Thank you all so much for you kind words and support. I really do appreciate it.
At this stage I am just waiting for things to happen. I've chosen to try for a Medical Management but it doesn't look like its going to happen in a rush.
My body, and probably me emotionally doesnt seem to want to let go just yet. I have started to pass a few clots but only when I visit the toilet and wipe.
I'm still in quite a bit of shock. I can't understand how my body can hold a baby who died 5 weeks ago. Seems such a long time to be going on without even knowing what had truely happened. I think thats what hurts the most. At the same time I feel silly for mourning a baby that was so small. I also feel so silly for making all these plans and telling everyone. So much of me was invested in this only to have it taken away silently.
Sara its not silly to mourn a baby so small. We told people as soon as we found out at 4 weeks. Your heart can't help but plan and dream when you realise you have a little bean in there. I think still being in shock sounds totally rational also, its such a big thing to process, that I'm sure there is part of you trying to hide away from it all. I hope things start happening soon for you so that you can start to process what is happening physically and emotionally. Thinking of you alot. You really are a special person from what I have learnt so far and I pray there are a thousand little angels holding you tight through this really unfathomable journey.
How are you going sweetheart? I want you to hear darling that missed miscarriage is not uncommon - what is common with this sad loss is that it is very confusing as a Mother that we didn't know instinctively that our baby was gone, or there was no sign. Maybe in time you will reflect and think aah maybe that's why that happened etc etc.
For now though just try to let go. This baby has flown away & now it's time for your body to give him/her up. It's hard & it's one of the most painful things you will ever do. But you will do this and you can. If I can help in any way please reach out. Know my thoughts and prayers are with you, your baby and your partner as you say goodbye.
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