Bridesmaid 2 weeks after due date..is it possible?

[sunshine_sieben]

I agree with most posters that it is too close and although bub would most likely be fine, you will be mega stressed.
Another point that nobody has made so far is that the stress of the upcoming wedding might actually complicate or delay your birth. Our bodies do funny things under stress and often labour doesn't start naturally if you are very stressed.
Also, if you do end up going over your due date (and a lot of first pregnancies do go over), you might have to deal with 2 kinds of pressure to induce: one being your doc the other being the impending wedding. If you're interested in having a natural birth, not a good situation to be in (and on a little side note: a wedding is not a vali reason for an induction).
And people have very rightly pointed out how time consuming breastfeeding is in the early days. You can pretty much count on starting a feed every 2-3 hours and it lasting up to an hour. This can mena that you're only at the wedding every second hour.
Also, lots of babies have problems with gas in the early days. Due to digesting food being such a new sensation to them. So you might have a very upset bub to deal with. On the other hand, they do sleep a lot in the first couple of weeks, so you might get lucky.
Especially with DH being in the bridal party, too, I think it will just be too difficult. Your baby might not like being held by anyone else but her parents.
And another thing. Bridesmaids usually have a lot of responsibilities before the wedding. And believe me, when you're about ready to pop there are enough other things to take care of. And you will need some rest, too.
And another thing: This is meant to be HER special day. If her BM has a newborn baby, just imagine how much the baby will steal her show and influence her day. She might not mind that, but I just don't think it's fair.

I would explain all this to your friend and say that due to all these possibilities, you would not be able to be a reliable bridesmaid. I'm sure she will udnerstand. Definitely plan on being there on her special day, but without the responsibility of being her bridesmaid.

All the best with whatever you decide.
Sasa

[sunshine_sieben]

Hi, we posted at the same time.
I just wanted to let you know that I woudl strongly advise you against getting induced just for convenience. Inductions are not without risk. There are a few articles here on BB that you might like to read before going down that road, so that this decision is an informed one, too :-)
The World Health Organisation says: "Birth should not be induced for convenience, and the induction of labour should be reserved for specific medical indications. No geographic region should have rates of induced labour over 10%."
https://www.bellybelly.com.au/birth/...-or-not-induce

And I really do hope that you will carry to term and have a healthy bub. But it might be worth thinking about whether she can wait another 5 weeks to make a final decision about her bridesmaids.
And you are very right, you dont have to be a bridesmaid to be able to help.

Sasa

[sydney moose]

Thanks Satya,

I will give it a read and as I said, to be induced was a suggestion that was made rather lightly without really being serious and something we would and will discuss thouroughly with my OB and in no way would I put the baby's health and wellbeing in jeopardy for the sake of attending a wedding no matter how much I want to be there, but thanks for letting me know as everything is so new, sometimes we assume that we can just mould the baby to our convenience and we are starting to realise that it just doesn't work like that!

The 1st OB appointment will most likely be a big eye opener, it seems like a such a long time to wait til 27th June!!!!!! 15 sleeps!~

Moose

[Junglemum]

I was an honarary BM 6 weeks afte my DD was born. I help with everything leading up to the wedding, i helped my GF get ready on the day (with DD), i even got to sit on the bridal table! I was dissapointed, but in the end very relieved, i knew i made the right decision in not being her BM.
An honerary one isn't too bad. It's really the firendship that is most important in the end anyway.

[Curly]

Hi again

Just wanted to say that you do make a good point about suggesting to your friend that you perhaps wait until the end of the first trimester before confirming that you won't be able to be BM, if she can wait that long for a decision. If I may however, I would advise that you not breathe a word to her about induction. If she doesn't have her baby of her own she may not realise what a big deal that is and get her hopes up. A first pregnancy would only be induced if absolutely necessary - try not to keep that as an option in the back of your head because you will probably be disappointed when you talk to your OB.

Apologies - I hate to be a killjoy!

[sunshine_sieben]

Moose, Of course ou would never knowingly put your own or your baby's health at risk. I didn't mean to say that. I just know from my own experience that at the beginning of a pergnancy we often don't really know mcuh about the different options there are when it comes to the birth and the impact each of them has. I just wanted to give you some info in case you didn't have it yet.

And you are very right, in my personal experience I found that one of the biggest challenges as a new mum was to learn that you can't plan anything anymore :-) You're sure you can get yourself and DD ready to run out the door by 8am? At 7:58 you have to deal with a giant leaky pooey nappy tha requires a complete outfit change and maybe even a bath for DD. You ahve just gotten changed and DD vomits all over you. You want to put DD to sleep so you can watch House (or anything else) jsut for her to decide to refuse bed time today,...
Maybe not being able to plan when labour will start is just something that life throws at us to prepare us for the wonderful ride that is ahead of us.
My midwife also suggested one day that maybe the frequent night time toilet stops in late pregnancy ar meant to prepare us for the broken sleep that is to come when bub is here.

All the best with your pregnancy. I hope you enjoy it. an I hope you will be able to be there for your friend's wedding, holding a very happy and healthy bub in your arms. if you do, make sure you bring a change of clothes for yourself and for bub ;-) And good luck with your first OB appointment!

Sasa

[paradise lost]

2 weeks past my due date i had a 3 day old baby and very huge (36J), very tender, newly engorged breasts (that was the day my milk came in). I was able to get out of bed for 40 minutes to help clean up when the dishwasher overflowed and flooded the kitchen, but i was exhausted by that and stayed in bed for the rest of the day. I didn't leave the house until day 8, and i had a completely normal vaginal homebirth with no complications or stitches. In terms of dress size, by day 4 i was back to my pre-pregnancy weight (i only put on 6kg), i have friends who have toddlers and still trying to get the baby weight off, i think it'd be hard to guesstimate what dress size to order.

Inductions are responsible for many horror stories among mums, and though they CAN go entirely to plan and work out fine, they often lead to complications and sometimes to tragedy (there was a woman mentioned here recently whose induction became an emergency c section which became an emergency hysterectomy to save her life). Some inductions are necessary and those can save lives but it is a weighty risk to take for a wedding IMO.

I think your idea sounds a good one - you will be in the role of BM for organisation/support, but on the day you will take the role you can best cope with as either a guest or a strong mention and thanks in the speech, if you're still in bed with the baby (or not yet with the baby). Though i know what you mean about DH being involved in their wedding being important, keep in mind that he would probably much rather miss their wedding than the birth of his child.

Bx