maybe you can give your friend another important role for the christening

like you, i had someone in mind that we thought we'd ask to be secondary godparents to our kids (the idea was that, like my bro's kids, they'd all have one set of godparents the same, the person that would "inherit them" if something happened, and then their "own" godparents) - but over a period of time, i came to realise that these people, as grown adults, were not a good moral influence, and i didn't want that influence to be any more "important" to my children. so we moved away from that couple.

i understand where lulu is coming from - it's damn hurtful to be told one thing and then have it revoked a year later, but given you're not going with other friends, you're sticking with family, i think your friend will need to accept that, show maturity, and embrace whatever role she can have within your babies life.

BG