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Thread: Had big problems with 1st baby - will it be different this time?

  1. #1
    jazzie Guest

    Default Had big problems with 1st baby - will it be different this time?

    I went through a rough time breast feeding my daughter - almost every single thing that could go wrong did - it seemed doomed. I still feel grief for all we went through - but anyway.......... I REALLY want to breast feed this baby; has anyone else had similar experience or advice? I ended up having to bottle feed my daughter (I still feel so ashamed - it is ridiculous, I nearly didn't type that I used a bottle!)

    DD 7/08/2004
    EDD 23/07/07
    :angel2: May 2006


  2. #2

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    Oh sweetheart the love you express for your daughter is enough to show you and us there is nothing at all to feel guilty about. Yes we give birth and breast feeding comes part and parcel in it for the body. But you know what, sometimes our bodies dont do what we want, sometimes we are born with disabilities, sometimes we get diseases, sometimes we are missing a part on our body. There is no such a thing as perfection and that goes with our bodies. So you couldn't feed her, ya gave it a good go though right! But it didnt work there isnt much more you could have done, so you stopped to save yourself the stress and your daughter the upset of mummy stressing and relaxed and gave her the next best thing. That is a mother who loves her child. No more guilt alright, its what happend and you did the best you could. That to me makes a wonderful mama.

    Now that doesn't mean you won't be able to this time, give it a go thats all you can do, it may work or it may not. So long as you know you have tried thats the best you can do for your child to be. Guily courses self doubt and do your children need to feel that emotion coming from mamma, or do you want to stand strong as say I tried and I "KNow" I did my best so thats all that matters, both mother and child relaxed and all is good!

    Join perhaps a Breast feeding suport group, either online or in your town! ON here yeahhhhhhh!!!


    If ever I seen love for a child its yours in your words, thats nothing to feel ashamed of now is it! Ya goose!


    What is meant to be will be ok.

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    I had some problems feeding my first baby as well, I fed her for two months and gave up at that point because I just couldn't get the help I needed, despite contacting the ABA a few times, talking with my GP etc. It just wasn't working. We'd had problems from the start because she was born a few weeks early - so she was too sleepy to feed properly and she was also supplemented in the hospital. I had problems keeping her awake, major engorgement and letdown issues that just wouldn't settle...all round it was not the enjoyable or rewarding experience it should have been.

    I had the same fears as you for my next baby but it has been SO different this time. DS came out a breastfeeding pro - even though he was born by emergency c/s he attached immediately and we haven't looked back since. Everything just "clicked" this time and I've had none of the problems I had with DD. He's 12 weeks old now and I'm so proud that I haven't needed to use formula once since he was born, he's still feeding and I intend to keep going until he is at least one.

    So things can definitely be very different with a different baby, and also I think with second and subsequent babies mum isn't so tense either which definitely helps

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    Jazzie
    There is no need to feel ashamed for doing the best you could for your baby. Sometimes, and often for no obvious reason, women do have difficulties with breastfeeding. However every birth is different. It would be unusual for the same problems to arise in your second baby as did in your first.
    Accept all the help that is offered. Read books and watch videos, (you should be able to get these from your local hospital). And if your are not sure then donít be afraid to ask.

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    Alan is it true that having a c-section makes it more difficult for milk to come through or sometrhing like that? Sorry for picking your brains, but I am sure yours are much better than myn, lol!

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    My sister couldnt breastfeed with her first.. he wouldnt latch on from word go and the next 2 breastfed until they were 12 months.. she had trouble getting them off.

    But theres nothing wrong with bottlefeeding.. it doesnt mean you love your babies any less.. Jesse is bottlefed from week 1 and i love him so much words cant explain..
    Youll be fine.. just take it easy and relax and dont ever blame yourself or be ashamed as everythings happens for a reason. :wink:

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    Soul
    I am happy or you to pick my brain, that is what Iím here for.
    I donít think that a C/S has any direct bearing on milk production. However the first few feeds can be a problem due to pain. Another problem is that if you have an epidural / spinal then getting into a good position for feeding can be difficult. If this problem goes on for some time then milk production can be affected. Also the drugs used can and do pass into breast milk. This can cause your baby to become sleepy.

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    aw thanks Alan, well thank god for that cause I am still hopeing on that vbac I swear I will get it!I better bloody well get it!

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    Soul
    You hang out for what you want. I have heard of a new concept that is just starting to spread throughout the medical profession and some doctors are actually beginning to listen. !!!! Itís your body so you have the right to decide what is done or not done to it !!!!! I hope it catches on.

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    Aha Gottacha sweets! May they have ears opened wide when I tell them how "I " want it to run! Since its my body running the show, at least till there might be problems!

    Sorry for taking over the thread Hon!


    Alan your so easy to talk too!

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