We told DD as soon as we had a + POAS, we then lost the baby a few weeks later & we dealt with it & included DD, she is 6. She wrote a poem for her baby brother or sister & knows that the baby has gone to heaven..
I think it would have been harder for me to try & hide my sadness & tears, now I just shared them with her & we all lay on the couch crying & cuddling together!!!! With this one she is SO excited & I guess now it feels like forever for it to come out!!!!