Csab, I found with all our stress with our baby (which went up and down like a yoyo) that I needed to go to that dark place first before I could start to think positively again about things. It is completely understandable when you are in the throes of hearing awful stressful things at the hospital that you focus on these things. Particularly as you have been through a similar thing before it must bring up all sorts of feelings and fears. I would suggest to let yourself get as upset as you like, go there for a while. It is stressful, scary and hard, and it is fine that you feel all those things. I found that after I was so exhausted by worrying that I naturally started to focus on the more positive stuff, but only after I had really faced the other side of it. Then little by little the positives (like Charlotte mentioned - your baby is still growing, and V was similar size but OK), can start to shine out more. Give yourself some time and have a good cry whenever you need to if that is what helps.
I found talking to a genetic counsellor really helpful - is there one you can see at your hospital?
Andrea