babies close together,feeling very emotional

[nicole mckay]

okay as you might have guessed i have just found out that i am pregnant,chantelle is 7.5 months old and i havnt had af as i am still activly breastfeeding.i am in total shock and am quite upset about it all.this is not how i want to feel as the thought of number 4 has always been talked about and was something we have been considering up till about a month ago.we decided that we were not going to go down that path as we were very happy with the 3 beautiful children we have already.i just get so upset and depressed at the thought of having 2 babies to take care of including the 2 older boys,will i cope,i feel like i will never have my own life,it is going to be so damn hard.i was looking forward to going back to work soon.we are in the middle of selling our house and buying again.just feels like this is all to hard.the reason for my post is i want to know if anyone else has felt this way when they found out they were getting a suprise baby,how they have coped and how they feel now.i am just so confused.i want to be happy....for god sakes i am having a baby,i should be over the moon......
thanks girls
nikki

[BellyBelly]

Nicole,

*huge hugs* hon, what a difficult situation. I don't know if you have read my article new this month, 'Unexpectedly Pregnant' in the pregnancy section, but you are not alone. There are counsellors you can speak to over the phone, I have listed a couple, that can help with the emotions involved. Alternately you can organise to see a psychologist or someone else, but I think you definitely need to gather support, speak to family about how you feel etc. and get planning early on coping strategies.

Good luck hon, don't feel bad for not being ecstatic, things don't always happen the way we plan... I hope you have lots of support and please seek help - hopefully to help you have a more enjoyable pregnancy and when baby is born, there will be less chance of things like PND when it gets tough.

[Danni]

oh nicole, first of all congratulations on your pregnancy.

I hope you resolve your issues soon but having 2 babies close in age isnt such a bad thing. Chantelle is going to love it!

Kirsty77 and Kate are in the same boat at the moment being pregnant and having bubs at home too so they may be able to give you some advice?

remember sweetie I am literally around the corner from you and am happy to have a coffee, chat, gossip, cry or whatever with you!

im also happy for you to offload some kids at my house i hope you get excited about this baby soon and can work out a way to get your head around it.

[nicole mckay]

thanks girls,
danni i actaully had to have a long hard think about posting this as i was thinking of you and how baddly you want a dear baby of your own,i felt very selfish and undeserving writing this as i am sooo lucky to be blessed with my children and then i say something like this.i appreciate your advice and the fact that you didnt take offence to my post.
nikki

[Danni]

oh nicky, dont be silly!

although as payback- i better be able to babysit

i am always here if you need ANYTHING

[Tigergirl1980]

Awwwwwwwww big Nicole, I'm sorry you are feeling this way. Definitely talk to someone about how you are feeling, maybe even a chat to you MCHN if you have a nice one. I'm sure you will be able to cope when the time comes. Women/Mothers are amazing in that way, I think we adapt and manage far better in difficult circumstances than anyone.

And don't feel selfish in posting this, far better to post and get advice than to not post and feel the way you do.

[mizzsocial]

Firstly, Congrats on your pregnancy

As much as its a shock now, things happen for a reason.. Yes it will be tough having 2 little ones so close, but everything is about adjustment, and i bet you and your family will adjust just fine

My kids will be 18 months apart.. i fell pregnant with #2 when Jake was 9 months old.. Although it was planned, i still get nervous about loosing my sleep, having 2 in nappies etc, but i wouldnt have it any other way!!

I bet once you get over the shock of it all, you'll be very happy!!

[Lucy]

Nikki,

You poor love. I totally totally empathise with where you are right now. Charlie was only 6 months old when I discovered I was pg again, and I'll be honest, I am only just getting my head round it now.

Reading your post was like reading an echo of my own feelings.

Email or PM me if you want, sweets.

[Deejoy17]

Nikki - Hugs to you, I know exactly how your feeling. Even though #2 was planned I was still shocked when a BFP was staring into my face then I got quite stressed worrying about how can I cope with 2 under 15 months plus DH`s 2 boys and taking care of the house (I don`t get any help from DH), I was often in tears thinking I`ve done the wrong thing.

Now I get excited about having another baby in the house but still get stressed worrying how I`m going to cope especially at night - how do I settle both Matthew and his brother during the night on my own???? I know I`ll get there and now Matthew will love his little brother but it can stress you out just thinking about it.

Hugs to you.

[simone]

i know its a shock, my older son was 2, and my younger son was 7 months when i fell pg. Now im 30w, and still finding it hard to cope. My youngest isnt even walking yet, he's 14m old and weighs 15kg which makes things alot harder. But we're all super mums here, right?? And we cope with anything and everything life throws at us. We all know youll be fine, you're an awesome mum and this bub will be lucky to have your as its mummy , just like your other 3 are *hugs* to you

[Jennifer13]

Hi Nikki

Our pg with DD was unexpected and I understand what a huge shock to the system that can be. In our case it was DP who had the biggest adjustment, I think I was more ready for it than he was. He 'put one foot in front of the other' as far as getting ready for the baby went for a while and gradually got used to the idea. As soon as she was born he was totally in love.

Since you already have kids I'd imagine you'd have even more to think about than we did - financial, emotional and physical challenges. Give yourself some time to get used to the idea and don't beat yourself up about not being excited at the thought of another baby so soon. Even if you aren't in love with the idea of #4 for the whole pg I'm sure as a Mum you know how you'll feel about him/her once he/she is born. And it might not take you that long to get excited! You will also probably feel better when the house is sold and all of that hassle is out of the way. This baby is so close to Chantelle in age you will get to do your own thing at about the same stage anyway, hon. Don't know if you'll be able to say the same thing about your figure!! LOL

For the record, if I fell pg within the first year of Lucy's life I know I would be pretty negative in my feelings. And I do want another couple of kids and have been surprised already! Just not now...

[nicole mckay]

oh girls,you are just making me feel a lot better,thankyou so much,i went and had an ultra sound done today and i have to admit i felt a very familiar warmth when he showed me the heart beating away,i was releived to hear that i am only 6 weeks prg,so at least i have got the whole pregnancy to get used to all of this.i am feeling a bit more positive about it now although i go into a panick just thinking about it,thanks again,it is just such a great feeling to know that i am not the only one who has been through these feelings.i appreciate all of your support more than words can say,this baby is due on the 28th of january.
nikki

[Tigergirl1980]

Wonderful to hear you are feeling more postive Nicole. I'm sure once you get over the initial shock you will be over the moon. Congrats on your pregnancy too

[hannanat]

Hi Nicole, I felt like this with my 5th. I became depressed and moody and really had a hard time for about a week ( I know not that long), but it was horrid and I will never forget it. I couldnt imagine life without him now, but at the time just couldnt see past the shock. I definitely got over it and by the time I was a couple of months in was as excited as if it was my first. I think a lot of it was hormonal.


Good luck

[Antheia]

*hugs* congratz on your little surprise! I know what it's like to have a shock like that. Lily was far from planned and when i found out i was almost 12 weeks along. So really only had 6 months to get used to the idea, which was hard. But in the end, i don't regret a thing.

[Danni]

im glad you are feeling better babe. Dont forget to buzz me if you wanna chat or babysitter

[Angel Babies 3]

Congratulations on your pregnancy. You are truely blessed!
Debbie

[Naomi]

Nicole, congratulations on your pregnancy
This pregnancy wasn't planned, and like you i freaked out when those two lines came up, but now it has sunk in i couldn't be happier, there will be 19months difference between my youngest and the new baby, so it will be tough for a while, but i'm sure we'll cope as i'm sure you will too