Hi Bertie,

I'm so glad you posted this, as I've been dying to ask the same question myself!

My family all live in Brisbane, but my in-laws live in the UK. I get on really well with my MIL and have had her stay with us at our home before for four weeks. It worked fine then, but DH and I were both going to work each day (so had some time to ourselves) and there was no baby to think about.

When she originally said she wanted to be here for the birth, I was really worried. I now work from home, so will have the stress of trying to still work up until the birth - and manage some work after the birth (to keep my business afloat).

I thought of various options for MIL visiting - coming three months after the birth etc, but I just knew that because MIL is SOOOOO excited about the baby, she just wouldn't be able to contain herself until then. (and would be very upset if she couldn't come earlier).

We have just agreed with her to come two weeks before my due date and to stay for four weeks. If the baby comes around my due date, that means I will have two weeks with her, when I can enjoy her company, go shopping etc.

Then I will have nearly a week in hospital - so a break from her (except for visiting hours). And only a week at home again, with DH, the baby and MIL.

I think I can handle one week with MIL and the baby - but will ask my mum to have MIL at her house when we come home from the hospital, so that we can have the first day or so on our own.

If the baby is eary, it will mean up to two weeks with her there, after the baby comes home. Hopefully I won't be late!!

The alternative was MIL coming later, but that will mean her being here for four whole weeks when I have the baby home. Which I think will be too much for me.

It's such a hard decision isn't it. Either way, it will be stressful at some stage. They just need to understand that we will need time on our own with the baby, and to give us some space.

Good luck with the decision.

Margot.