We had the discussion with the family before hand, that on the first day it was to be parents only, and they had to wait for the call to say they could come in. I stressed this with my family a lot, and the wishes were respected. DH, on the other hand, didn't feel the need to harp on about it...hence his brother and gf turned up the first night too. Also, DH was on the phone to his dad when I was at home during labour, and his dad asked whether they should come to the hospital, luckily DH put him straight that a) we were still at home and wanted to be left in peace, and b) we didn't know how long it would be anyway so would let them know (lucky he did as I reckon it was about another 15hours or so anyway! they would have had a long wait at the hospital!

This time around, I want DD to be the first person to see the new baby. I've told my parents the plan, since they will have her anyway - the idea is DH will meet them with DD in the corridor, and bring her in, while they wait outside for 10-15 mins. I've asked DH to mention this to his parents, but again, he doesn't think its as important as I do, so he still hasn't mentioned it

As for family ignoring DD, I'm pretty sure this won't happen as I know both sets of grandies have bought her a new 'big sister' present, so she doesn't feel left out with the pressies the new baby is getting.