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Thread: Does Not being able to breastfeed run in familys? (May be tmi)

  1. #1

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    Question Does Not being able to breastfeed run in familys? (May be tmi)

    Hi,
    I know this is going to sound weird, But I cant breastfeed. I tried with my DD and no avail my nipples cracked and bled that bad the midwives told me to give up and just bottle feed her.
    With DS i didnt crack or bleed, but i was up every 1.5 hrs feeding like my milk didnt satisfy him at all. I did this for 1 week straight, practically no sleep, and finally DF said to put him on the bottle too.
    I feel like i am giving my child the worst start coz i cant feed, but what other option do i have?
    My mother couldnt b/feed, so does it run in familys?
    Please help! I am currently 15w & 1d preg with bubba #3.
    Thanks in advance,
    Jen


  2. #2

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    Hey Jen,

    Establishing breastfeeding isn't always easy I know. I couldn't do it with my son either as he refused to suck.

    What happened with your second child is quite normal though. What you were doing was correct because the baby needs to feed a lot when they are just starting out. That gets your supply going and keeps it going. Later on, the feeds will space a bit more but that initial time is one of establishment.

    If you are keen to b/f this baby, think about joining the ABA or contacting a lactation consultant before you go into hospital. They might be able to give you some help and advice about feeding which will help you.

    In terms of it being hereditary, I don't think that is the case. But I know that my mother had a similar experience with me as I had with my son. She was concerned that that meant she would have trouble breastfeeding other children but this wasn't the case. Her second and third babies took to the breast right off with no problems and she breastfed both for 12 months each.

    Good luck!

    Mel

  3. #3

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    As far as I know it isn't hereditary!

    Sorry to hear about your bad experiences with bf. I think you should definately try again with no.3 though!

    I was lucky Louis took to it really well and fed evey 2-3h in those early weeks. I found I had my troubles more around the 3m mark when it feels like your supply drops off - thats when a lot of people give it up because it doesn't feel like your feeding them enough.

    I can only say to persevere - my initial goal was to get to 3m, then 6m and now I'm nearly at 12m and p/g with no.2. So break it down and just get through the first couple of weeks and build from there!!!

    Good Luck with it all!!

  4. #4

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    Thanks for your replies. I am hoping to bf this one. I am going to try.. I mean i will never know if it works if i dont try. I got further with Zhai with the bfeeding so hopefully i will get even further along with this one. Fingers crossed.
    At the hospital i am going to they are really nice, they make sure baby is on breast properley, and all that stuff, I am just thinking Zhai was a little piggy as he drank 80mls of a bottle straight away.
    Hmmmm, Oh well atleast im going to try!
    Thanks again,
    Jen

  5. #5

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    I don't think it runs in families, but I do think that some women can tend to follow the same pattern as their mothers, though not always! My mum and my sisters all BF successfully, so you would think that therefore I would be able to do it with no probs too, but that was not the case with my babies. Everybody is different, as is each baby so definitely I think if you want to BF your next baby then go for it and try not to think too much about your past issues, just focus on your new bub and see how you go!

  6. #6

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    Hi,

    I know how you feel, i havent been able to successfully bf any of mine yet.

    The first baby i just didnt take to it myself and i dont think i was given enough guidance either.

    Second baby, due to PPH they took him away and bottlefed him cos i was still bleeding and being attended too. After that i was so weak we just left him on the bottle.

    Third baby i had the most awful afterbirth pains and i was in agony in my belly and my boobs as she wasnt on proparly. The m/w was very dismissive and came in and announced to me that i just wasnt a breastfeeder instead of trying to help me. I got out of hospital and consulted a lactation consultant but i could feed her perfectly when they were there but when i was alone i just couldnt get her on proparly. On day 8 she refused me and that was that.

    Fourth baby was premature and hadnt developed her sucking reflex yet. It was hard enough getting her to bottle feed let alone have to work hard to breast feed.

    This baby, i have no idea whats going to happen. After a history like that it sort of deflates you a bit and has you asking "Should i bother?"

    So i know how you feel.

    I hope you can bf successfully this time if its really what you want to do.

    Good luck.

  7. #7

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    I fed my first baby for 1 week but due to losing a chunk of nipple & being in absolute agony & baby constantly vomiting up blood, I threw in the towel & bottle fed her..
    I really wanted to feed #2, but was dubious... But at the Hospital i told them I couldnt feed #1, but I am so wanting to feed #2, please help spend some time with me!!!
    They didnt need to, Indah sucked like a trooper from the very first feed really soon after her birth (a few seconds/minutes)?
    I am still successfully feeding her even though I have been back Full Time working since january!..
    My Mum didnt want to feed us & never did, her Mum fed each & everyone of her kids 11 in total & actually rotated with her sister as her sisters son was not gaining much weight, but my Uncle was so they fed the boys together but swapped for a few feeds a week & it made all the difference!!!

    My older sister fed til about 6-8 wks with both of her kids & then stopped & my younger sister has a drug dependency & so never fed her daughter...
    I simply LOVE feeding Indah & wont be ready to give up for a while yet!!!!

    I remember feeding for what seemed like 24 hours a dayu in the beginning but when I think back I cant really recall the exhaustion now, so it cant have been that bad really!!

    Good Luck!

  8. #8

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    Hello, we persevered through the first couple of weeks (cracked bleeding nipples, mastitis at day 10, sleepy baby who wouldn't suck, battleax midwife who terrorised us with her offers of violent 'help', no family support and husband in ADF not given any leave) and it did get better!. Those first weeks are not indicative of what breastfeeding is like. Many of our mothers abandoned their attempts at feeding in the early weeks because it was believed at the time that babies should only be fed every four hours, and as it's been pointed out it's the regularity of the feeds in the first weeks that gets the lactation going.

    If you wish to breastfeed, arm yourself with as many resources as you can. Joining the ABA well before you have baby is a good way to get the best b/f information - and they're great for lots of support and other child-centred parenting tips too. Ask to meet the lactation consultants when you do your hospital visit and tell them how you feel. Don't be afraid to ask for help again and again if it's not working. In the end it was something quite unconventional that got us through, plus several precious hours spent with us by an off-duty lactation consultant, who worked elsewhere in the hospital.

    And in the end, whether it works out or not - be kind to yourself. Every feed in those first days is literally liquid gold, but what matters most in the long run is how you love and nurture your child.
    Good luck!
    Marydean

  9. #9

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    My Grannies both breastfed sucessfully, as have all my aunts and me and my sister, so the only one that DIDN'T manage it was my Mum. No ryhme or reason to it at all..........

  10. #10

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    Thanks for all your replies.
    I am going to see my midwife/doctor on the 7th so i will talk to her about it. I really do want to bf, and i am hoping this baby is the one. My DF works 2 jobs but my SIL works only 2 days a week and she lives with us so i am hoping she will get up to DS if i am exhausted.... If not im sure she will send me back to bed once she is up. Also i am putting my DS into childcare 2 days a week before baby is born (well i am hoping he is on the waiting list he doesnt actually turn 2 till 29.10) so when he is at school i can sleep when baby is sleeping. So im sure it will all work out fine. Also when i had my DD i had PND, so DF and i were worried i would get it again with DS, but no, i went well. Its amazing what support does for you, as i am sure i can get through the first few weeks of bf, if all goes well, he/she sucks properley, no cracked nipples (although you can get nipple sheilds) and stuff. Thankyou again.
    Jen

  11. #11

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    I didn't read all the replies but I just wanted to let you know that you can breastfeed.

    My grandmother was so sure I wouldn't be able to BF because she couldn't, my mum couldn't & nor could my mums sister.
    I went on to not only prover her wrong but blow her ideas out of the water complety. I have BF both my kids till they self weaned (18 months & currently still BF my 2yr old).

    The best thing you can do is go into it thinking I AM going to breastfeed. Not I will TRY and breastfeed. Contact ABA and get along to some meetings while your pg & also a breastfeeding education Class held by ABA. You need lots of Support & help to make it work this time.
    Good Luck
    Last edited by *Efjay*; September 1st, 2006 at 10:03 AM.

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