To find out or not to find out......that is the question
Soooo….what were your reasons behind finding out/not finding out.
Reason being that DH and I are both torn. Neither one of us can decide whether we want to find out the sex of this baby or not. DS was a surprise. And it was really fantastic. But we’ve put together a whole heap of pro’s and con’s both ways, and we’re stuck. Not that we don’t have heaps of time yet anyway before we need to make a decision. But I was just curious as to what the reasons were that some others either did or didn’t find out.
I never wanted to know I always wanted the surprise at the end of labour or CS.
I just loved the idea of us discovering what baby was.
Friends/Family have known sex and told everyone and often the name as well, so there is no surprise and little excitment when baby is born (off course excited as new baby but you know what I mean otherwise)
We didn't with either as it was dp's role to be the one to announce what we had. It was something special for him to do at the birth rather than be told by someone we had never met a an ultrasound.
I had to know because I'm a control freak and wanted to get everything sorted out before he arrived. We kept our name a secret until he was born though.
We found out too as were planners.... but as someone said above didn't want to be told by someone we didn't know in a clinical fashion.
So we made a celebration of it. We got the ultrasound tech to write bubs sex on a card & not tell us in the room or show us on the screen. We then went to where we got married, ordered lunch & opened the card. It was beautiful & we spent our lunch talking & dreaming about our little Poppet. Then later that night we had a big family dinner & revealed it to everyone. We didn't want to cold call everyone and say boy or girl as we wanted the anticipation and excitement to still be there. All the family said it was like being a little kid at Christmas waking up on the day of our ultrasound.
I wasn't phased with DD as i knew she was a girl. Then my 20 week scan came along and people were telling me i was having a boy as i carried all out the front so when the lady asked me if i wanted to know i said YES! she didnt even have to tell me i could see for myself.
A friend of mine said that people wont be excited if we find out when the baby is born, she says they will see it as "woo they had the baby, what else is new" which i think is wrong i know our familes are very excited about new babies, we have all found out what we were having except for one SIL who couldn't the baby wasnt willing to show and we all were over the moon when we had babies.
DD1 - cos I'm a control freak too, hate surprises and needed to know
DD2 - was nowhere near ready to be pregnant again and so I was very depressed about it. Needed something to try and start me bonding with my baby
DD3 - we were overseas when I thought I was having a miscarriage. Ended up in hospital and just needed to know.
My mum has also known each time (with DH's consent) because I needed to tell someone. Nobody else ever knew - no way I would tell anyone except mum before my DH found out.
We havent found out. i never planned to. personally the only reason i can see me maybe finding out is to help a little sibling understand better. so if it that means i only get 1 'surprise' im enjoying it (even tho it is driving me insane!!) but not to know colours etc... Because i want to know who it is (because we have names sorted) so i would like to know what initials to use. but enjoying not knowing so much more!
With DD, I just wanted to know. To plan etc. With this baby I needed to know to prepare myself if it wasn't a girl. Which he definately is not. It hasn't helped me bond or anything it's more mentally preparing myself.
Last edited by Ahurani; February 8th, 2012 at 06:12 PM.
We didnt find out, wanted the suprise. But I am so glad we didnt find out because at the 30 weeks scan the sonographer announced the baby had a head full of hair, it took away some of the guessing we had been playing and I was feeling a bit sad that I knew THAT so you can imagine what i would have felt knowing what 'it' was! I completely understand the needing to know though, especially if you like to do the colour thing with a boy or girl, there are very limited clothes that are gender neutral
We found out mainly because we were so excited. I was glad we did thought because we both thought it was a boy and everyone was saying I was carrying like it was a boy, and I wanted a boy. But she is a girl. As horrible as it sounds I felt disappointed but now because I know I have come to terms and I am looking forward to meeting her
We didn't find out with DD. It was my first and I wanted that surprise. I didn't feel the need to have a gender specific nursery and for us that was the only real reason DH could come up with to finding out. Funny I didn't even have a slight urge to find out....even after I had her I forgot to ask what sex she was for a few minutes.....
This time around DH found out but again I haven't. I don't know his reasons for wanting to know but he did. I still didn't so I told him he had to decide if he could keep it a secret from everyone then he could. For me I just don't want to know. I want the surprise of finding out once I have him/her.
The only problem I have is that I don't want DH to know the name before me so we still haven't worked out that!
DH and I have already made the decision not to find out. Our reason is that IVF is so invasive and there is no surprise in anything so we want something to be unknown and exciting for both of us
Found out with DD cause we had so much of DS clothes, and wanted to see if we'd need to keep them or sort them out and get rid of the ones we ' couldn't use for a girl' according to DH
If we have anymore I'll be sticking to my guns this time and won't be finding out. I did want at least one surprise, but caved each time!
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - even though I should be cleaning or sleeping
We were never ones for wanting to find out, but that changed.
#1 we didnt find out and it was lovely, though i always had this "knowing" that she was a girl
#2 we didnt want to find out again but little mr exposed himself to us all in a big way on the ultrasound and there was no hiding what he was.
#3 we decided to find out, not really sure why, but we did.
#4 we wanted to find out but she crossed her legs and had the cord between her legs for good measure, so we got a lovely surprise when she was born.
#5 we decided to find out.
#6 by now we can read ultrasounds without being told what we are having.
#7 same as above
Its lovely having a surprise but its also good to know what colours etc to be buying and what you need. Particularly when #7 was a boy after a string of 5 girls in a row, we had to buy everything for him as over the course of 5 girls we had gone from having lots of neutrals to some neutrals to everything pink.
We never told anyone the names of any of our babies until they were born and we didnt tell the sex either, except for with #7
DD1- We found out, I wanted to set up the nursery.... Though I was told boy till my 36 week ultrasound and I mentioned boy and the lady was like "um it's a girl".
DS- we found out cause he was going to be our last and I really wanted one of each (I know it shouldn't matter) and when we were told boy I knew it really was cause I seen the "part".
DD2- I found out cause she was to my new partner, a surprise baby and my new partner and I had separated in the beginning of the pregnancy. I had not one baby thing as I got rid of it all cause I didn't want anymore kids.
#4- I'm having ultrasound next week, don't think we are going to find out. I think it's another girl. I think DP would like a boy as it's def my last and DD2 is his only other child so one of each for him.
Lol redrobinridinghood to the wanting to be sure of something! Like Zee we were told one sex only to discover later in the pregnancy it was the other but we still decided to find out for this one and I'm pretty sure they're not wrong abut another boy this time, there were very clear boy bits!!
DD we planned to find out at 20 weeks because we wanted to know! We ended up finding out at 12 weeks after we had CVS, we were so stressed and upset that we wanted something positive to come out of it, so we found out from the chromosomal analysis.
DS, we also planned to find out at 20 weeks, because I wanted to be prepared with clothes - was I washing and getting ready all DD's old stuff? Or did I need to buy boy stuff? We ended up finding out at 12 weeks again, but not because of CVS, because our little man was in a good position. We didn't tell anyone until it was confirmed at 20 weeks though.
If we have another, we won't find out. I want one surprise - although DH says it can only be a surprise once and whether that is at 12 weeks, 20 or 40, does it matter? But I want one time where DH can hold the baby proudly aloft and shout "IT'S A..." whatever it is!
To find out or not to find out......that is the question
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We kept our name a secret until he was born though.
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