I've found out every time, DH only this time.

DD1 - cos I'm a control freak too, hate surprises and needed to know
DD2 - was nowhere near ready to be pregnant again and so I was very depressed about it. Needed something to try and start me bonding with my baby
DD3 - we were overseas when I thought I was having a miscarriage. Ended up in hospital and just needed to know.

My mum has also known each time (with DH's consent) because I needed to tell someone. Nobody else ever knew - no way I would tell anyone except mum before my DH found out.