Hmmmmm am I really the only one struggling with my body????

[LaDeeDa]

Ok - so i just want to preface this thread with

1) I absolutely love my unborn little man and
2) I love my baby bump and watching it grow and feeling him move, knowing that my body is creating and nurturing him.

BUT

I absolutely hate everything else about my pg body. I have friends who tell me that they were made to be pg and they love it more than not being pg and they wish they could just be about 7 months pg all the time (seriously someone said that to me at DF's christmas party last week )

I am so thrilled for you - honestly I mean that!
But I am not a part of that club - I tolerate being pregnant and I know that is a highly taboo thing to say in baby circles but I'm gonna put it out there.

Last night I was at my antenatal class and the teacher asked everyone if they were happy with their bodies while they are pg....

Everyone was silent and just nodded. So to my way of thinking they probably aren't but they aren't game to say anything in front of the forum for fear of being judged.

PHOOOEYYY!!!!

I think my bump is gorgeous and sexy - sure I haven't seen my vagina in about 4 months and having sex makes me think I should join cirque de soleil as a contortionist but I love this big glowing beacon of my femininity sticking out the front of me.

But I HATE the fact that I am soooooooo full of fluid that I really don't have any ankles at all and my knees are so swollen that I can barely fit them in my jeans.

I HATE that I lost so much weight before I fell pg and was finally into size 12 pants and feeling really good and now I am in size 16-18 pants (I am convinced they make maternity wear sizes really small or is that just me??? )and I feel horrible and embarrased and just don't want to go out anymore.

I HATE that DF is in the best shape of his life and says that yes I am really big now but I'm pg and we'll fix it when little man arrives - stop being so positive el buffo!!!!

I HATE that my arms make the tuckshop lady look toned tight and terrific.

I HATE that I have an obsession with ice cream and cravings that even the blasted Dalai Lama couldn't use self control to ride out - and I hate even more that it's for McDonalds soft serve and you have to deal with the stares of people when ordering it that are clearly saying
"You shouldn't be eating that for a whole heap of reasons lard arse oh and by the way didn't you read the chapter on listeria...."

I HATE the cellulite that is now on places that I didn't think cellulite actually went ....

But most of all I hate the feeling of helplessness that comes with it.....

When you are just large or overweight you can make the choice to exercise and change it but when you are in the last stages of pg just walking around the supermarket is a huge effort and you have to wait to not be pg to be able to make the changes you need to.

I don't know about any of you ladies but the idea of going for a power walk or a run just makes me want to crawl under a rock and die ....LOL

Phew!!! Now I guess I am wondering if I am the only person who feels even a little bit like this and if so how are you dealing with these feelings?

Hmmmm... ok now I am off to pack the car to go up the farm and spend 4 days with my 5'10 size 8 SIL .....

[Footsteps]

you are doing a amazing thing huni..and you look amazing.
just wanted to offer huge hugs and i hope somebody pops in with words to make you feel better.
you do look amazing huni.
love rach xxx

[Nai]

Dee, I know what you mean - I have my days where I look at my fingers and wonder who swapped them for chippolatas

I have put on more weight this time around than I did with DD and I was looking good prior to getting pregnant this time as I had lost all the preg weight so I am a bit disappointed that I have put more on - damn morning sickness that only responded to pasta, rice and bread!!

However, although I am waddling and looking incredibly ungraceful I do know that it is only short-term and I won't look like this forever.

Also I recall saying to DP before I got pregnant again that I had really loved being pregnant. He responded "no you didn't, you were uncomfortable and whingy" but I didn't remember that - I do now!! I think we are programmed to forget the bad things about pregnancy so that we do it again. While I'm sure some women do actually love being pregnant there are many of us who only think they did.

[rainbow_girl_1]

I do and dont like being pregnant............ i love having a bump and feeling all the kicks and moves from my bubs but i hate my body!!!!! I have always been concious of my body and before i was pregnant i was a gym junkie working out twice a day and walking to and from work cuz i dont like being fat or carrying around extra weight........so its a hard transition going from being varely skinny to being large, i do understand however that it is for a short time but i think now that im near the end its harder cuz it seems to be going so slow and everyday i put on a little extra beef and my stomach gets that little bit bigger. I think i have found it more depressing when i go looking for clothes, they just sit really funny and look stupid or dont fit at all, so im sitting here wondering what the hell im gonna wear christmas day?????? I cant show my legs cuz whilst being pregnant i have gained the hideous varicose veins.... only on one leg!!!!! arrrgggghhhhh i just wont this to be over.

Yes some people probably do love being pregnant but i do think a handful of people just say it, cuz its easy to say it when you dont actually look and feel like a beached whale. Im sure in a years time ill say i loved being pregnant to, only for my husband to say NO YOU DIDNT!!!!!!!!

So Dee your definately not alone

[LaDeeDa]

Nai and RainbowGirl - Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and feelings!!!!

It can be very easy to think that you are alone and a horrible mother when everyone around you is saying how wonderful it is.

I know that it's all worth it and it's only temporary but sometimes it really gets you down.
You girls rock for being so honest - have a great chrissy xoxoxox

[Nelle]

I remember that, and it can seem taboo to say that you're not 100% impressed.

As Nai says, it's not forever, and I know the discomfort sucks, but I promise people won't be noticing your tuck shop lady arms, or your puffy ankles, they'll just be seeing that glorious belly.

And the cravings - I found it useful when I craved something unhealthy to ask - what's in this that my body is after? Like ice-cream - could you be needing dairy? With me it was slurpees - and apparently craving ice can be a symptom of iron-deficiency (and it was in my cases). So I try to figure out what my body wants, and then substitute for something healthier.

[angelaartsstudent]

I hear you sister! :-)

I HATE what my body is doing and how it is feeling.

But I also have no maternal instinct yet, cannot feel my baby, am already fat so am not showing well so don't feel emotionally connected to it in any way.

Really really really dislike my body right now!

[Ginger]

i hate being pg
i hate being this fat

now...i'm going to go eat an ice cream

[Toomanytoomany]

Dee, while I don't hate what my body *looks* like (I actually find it quite freeing being pregnant and enjoy the look of it more then than when I'm not - probably because there's an excuse for the big jelly belly ) I hate how it feels, and during pregnancy I'm one long whinge.

I have chronic pain that just gets worse with pregnancy, I get so tired I cry from it nearly every day, I get massive headaches, my heart pounds, and my pelvis really, really hurts. And I know that in two months' time the really painful movement is going to start, and the irritable uterus has started up...

After five kids, though, I've learned to go with the flow. If I need a sleep, I have a sleep. If I need a jolly good walk, I go and have one. If I don't want to eat lunch and I just want fruit all afternoon, I've just learned that my body is trying to tell me something and I just do what it's telling me.

When dd5 was about five months old, I remember sitting on her bed in front of the mirror in her room and wincing at my hands. My fingers are quite stubby, and the skin on them is quite wrinkly from too much sun. But I thought, look at what those hands are doing. I was patting her back and holding her and transmitting so much love through those hands. And I looked at her hands the same way she must look at my hands - gentle things that guide her, hold her, stroke and soothe her. And I felt so much better about my hands after that.

[Lulu]

Awesome post.

Dee, you really look beautiful ok? In fact you, Nai and Rainforest look so perfectly pregnant you make me very clucky. I really mean that - Nai you were GLOWING the other day, Rainforest you radiate happy, and Dee your bump is perfect - I forgot to tell you the other day. You look like a mummy to be, it won't be much longer till its over AND.......you will feel 1000% literally as soon as he is born, once he is out...aaahhhhhh man it feels so good!

Hope the farm ain't too feral xoxoxoxo

[Ginger]

awwww, that's so sweet
you've made my day