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Thread: How Can I Avoid Dissapointement?

  1. #1

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    Red face How Can I Avoid Dissapointement?

    Hi Guys, on Tuesday (11th July) I am going in for my 20 week scan.

    My main priority is the bubs is healthy!! But i am also a little anxious about the baby's gender, as you know i have 2 gorgeous boys, but i have to tell you that if they tell me it's another boy i am going to to get a little emotional.

    I know it's selfish and wrong as there are many people who would give anything to have a child, but it is how i am feeling at the moment.



    At the beginning of the pregnancy i really didn't care, just now it has dawned on me!!

    I feel terrible!!!! But i am so scarred that i am going to end up crying at the Ultrasound and i totally want to avoid this!!

  2. #2

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    Hi Kahmanya

    Sending you pink baby vibes. And a link to a good article about gender disappointment on the main site http://bellybelly.com.au/articles/pr...disappointment

  3. #3

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    Thanks Mistyfying - i cried when i read it (the one gender family) it is exactly how i feel, I am so emotional today!!!!!
    I am crying for the fact that there is this beautiful baby growing inside of me and i should be able to accept no matter what gender!! But i can't i am so wanting a little princess, i know i will get over it as i usually snap myself out of it!! And i know once i see him i will love him!

  4. #4

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    Ros,
    I will be exactly the same!! It's not wrong to feel the way you do, it's totally normal!!

    One thing I have always said to myself is... yes, I might be disappointed if I have another girl.... BUT I will love the child with no less of my heart because of it.

    If you do have another boy, he will be loved none the less, but you cannot help but hope he/she is a girl.

    I look forward to hearing how your U/S went...

    GL

    Tanya

  5. #5

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    I have 6 children. Girl, boy, boy, autistic girl that I think might really be a boy, boy and last, a boy. I am pg again and really wanted a girl - I even bought some girls clothes. I had my u/s and am having a boy. I thought I'd be devastated, but I wasnt. I couldnt wipe the smile off my face for the rest of the day. The point is theres no point worrying about it now because you just never know how you'll really react when they tell you - if they can. With my first, I was dying for a boy and when they told me it was a girl I cried with joy. Maybe its pg hormones

    Good luck and I hope you get everything you wish for.

  6. #6

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    Ros, don't stress, Tuesday will be great for you no matter what! I like you would love to have a little princess to buy pink for, but like you said - there is nothing quite like a cuddle from your litlle man!

    I am sending you heaps and heaps of pink bubba thoughts!!!!!!

  7. #7

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    I understand as well. When I found out this time I was having a girl I had to go home & have a good cry. I was happy that she was healthy, but so upset that my dream of a little boy may never happen. DH is convinced this is it for us. I guess knowing was the best thing for me because I could deal with the grief before the baby comes & now that we have named her & have started organising her things I am much happier than I thought I would be.

  8. #8

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    Roslyn, I completely understand where you are coming from. I felt the same way when I was pg with Noah before my scan. The fact that I had waited 7 years to have another baby and I was so desperate to have a girl after already having 2 boys was huge. I put so much pressure on myself as did family members (although not intentionally) I asked the technician if she could see what bub was before Mark was even in the room with me. My heart dropped, but only briefly and I thought, he's mine and I love him no matter what. I think from there in you go into a kind of damage control. You defend to both yourself and others how happy you are that bub is whatever sex it is.

    I was and still am totally in love with the little boy that Noah is, but the yearning was still there for a daughter. Thankfull I got lucky last time, I was very careful with my dating and did as much as I though I could to help determine a baby girl. Alot of people asked what I would've done if she were a he. Of course I would still love him, but I truely think there would always be that yearn...

    I don't think you can prepare yourself in anyway other than accept in your own heart that this bub is the one that was chosen for you. You are this babies Mother and no matter what you will love him/her unconditonally.

    Sending you heaps of pink vibes for Tuesday. I hope that bub is doing great and growing nicely.
    Oh and I also hope that bub isn't growing anything extra

  9. #9

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    Roslyn, I know how you feel; Hun,
    I have 3 DS's, that I love to death, but am pg again, and am desperately hoping this little one is a girl. I had a DD 9 years ago, but lost her without reason at 30weeks gestation.
    I know that if this is a boy, he will be just as precious as his brothers, but it doesnt stop the hope.
    Good luck Roslyn, just remember, that whatever you have been blessed with, you ARE blessed, and it is that gender for a very special reason.

  10. #10
    angelfish Guest

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    Well you could just choose not to find out, then when you have given birth you'll be so relieved you won't care what it is...

    I think it's good that you're being honest about this Roslyn, after all 99% of people do have a preference one way or the other, even if only a slight one, but lots of people won't admit to it. There's nothing wrong with feeling disappointed if it's another boy. Even if you burst into tears at the ultrasound, it doesn't mean you will love your new little son any less! It's just part of the natural process of mourning the loss of the imaginary/hoped for baby while rejoicing in the real baby you are having. It happens to most mothers, not only with gender but also if your baby is different looking or has a different personality than you expected. Once you get past losing the imaginary baby, you can truly appreciate the wonderful unique person that your actual baby is.

    I was very disappointed in my first at times, because I expected a very outgoing, cuddly baby who would be very advanced (of course!) and got a shy, slow to warm up baby who was normal but a bit late developmentally. But of course I adore him and wouldn't have him any other way (most days!)

  11. #11

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    All the best Ros

    I am sure if you find out you are having another boy you will find lots of advantages about it, and of course, love the baby boy as much as you would a girl.
    My DH comes from 3 boys, and my MIL is the queen of the house, the boys all adore her and bring her cups of tea and open car doors for her - just train em up well!

  12. #12

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    I am feeling your anxiety as I am PG with my third son after really wanting a girl. We tried the methods when we were TTC but you can't change fate!
    At the scan I kept it together. I got home and had a big bawl. I still find myself having twinges of jealousy when I see a little pink bundle in a pram and know that I will never have one of those...
    BUT on the other hand I am very much in love with my little boys and it didn't take me very long at all to shake off the dissapointment I felt. I am now very much looking forward to meeting my son in a few weeks time.

  13. #13

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    Thanks guys, still am emotional about it, but this is the way i am looking at it

    A boy i will cherish and love!
    A girl will be the cherry on top!

    Che Sara Sara!!!
    Still feel a little down but ofcourse i will get over it!

  14. #14

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    Hi - good luck with your ultrasound regardless of whether its a pink one or a blue one.

    We had Cait first and then found out Alex was a boy and I was excited. But a coupla months later I realised that Cait will never have a sister and that made me a bit sad.

    What is it with mums with three boys, I know of at least ten families of all boys !

  15. #15

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    Well i am going for my scan Tomorrow,
    My feelings are: Anxious, nervous, happy, sad !!!
    I am happy to accept another boy in the family, but a girl would be the icing on the cake

    Saying that i am expecting for it to be another beautiful boy!

  16. #16

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    Ros, I have my fingers crossed for you hun. Mostly for a healthy bub, but a healthy PINK bub would be even better

  17. #17

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    I know exactly how you feel, i had 3 ds's then fell pg with my 4th (by accident) and was blessed with a lil girl, but when i went for my 20wk scan i felt so sick that it was going to be another boy i thought i was going to throw up lol. When he said it was a she, i made him check so many times lol and every scan i had after i got them to check lol. I am now pg with #5 and i really was hoping for another girl for my daughters sake i thought it would be nice for her to have a lil sis but it's not to be i'm having another boy, i'm ok about it, was shocked at first as really thought with my dates it was going to be a girl. Anyhow i really wanted a girl when i was pg with #3 and when they said it was another boy i was so upset and so was my dh but we got used to it and once you get past all the "oh i bet you're disappointed it's not a girl" and "oh well another boy will be nice" comments you learn to love them for them. And if you ask me boys are so much simpler lol.

    Look forward to hearing your news

  18. #18

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    Ok guys, first of all let me say that i am relieved and happy to announce a beautiful and healthy baby boy is on it's way!!!

    I am okay and actually quite happy!!!!

    I expected to be upset but i think i dealt with my honest feelings before hand and thats whats helped me!!!!

    And yes guys there is NO MISTAKE!!! HE WAS HUGE:eek:

    Sebastian Dante is on his way

    Thanks to all of the wonderful support i have received i truly believe this is why i have accepted the result without any heartbreak!!!

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