Hi Kimmy, I felt the same way you did a few months ago.
I think it's totally normal to feel the way you do, I also had a terrible birth with my DS who has just turned 2. DS came out not breathing as he got stuck with umbilical cord wrapped around his neck. The doctors told me I have to have a c-section with the next one which I am kind of relieved in that way.
My DH and I are now more than ready to TTC again. I think it just took a few months for me to get my head around having another one. It does still scare me how im going to cope with 2 kids but I really wanted a brother or sister for him.
Maybe just wait a couple of months to have a think about it all?