How many times have you been pregnant? *Sensitive topic*

**blessedatlast** · September 20th, 2011, 10:24 PM

N2L _ TBH I didn't consider the different types of loss before I posted.. I did know people might feel uncomfortable answering the question regardless. Some people don't like to talk about losses regardless of how they came about.. I guess if people were uncomfortable, they wouldn't answer the question.. I was mindful about warning it's a sensitive topic because I know this could bring up a range of emotions for a range of reasons..

**LionsandBears** · September 20th, 2011, 10:39 PM

I hate filling in forms about obstetric history. My history is awful. Multi-gravida, multi-parous, zero living children. I can't remember how the midwives write it. I feel like a history of hope and grief can be written in code. I feel like a complete failure everytime I write it out.

4 pregnancies:
2x 1st trimester losses
1x neo-natal death
1x stillbirth

Not how I planned my life at all. My Mum had 4 pregnancies, 4 healthy kids. Her Mum was the same. Just the luck of the draw, I suppose. Not how I want to define my self or my children.

This is so depressing.

**PumpkinZulu** · September 20th, 2011, 10:43 PM

PZ - Would you have counted the termination in this question if it had never been brought up..

*Just to clarify again, not saying you should or shouldn't, I'm just curious*

I've ways counted the termination, and did in my first answer. I've had a chemical pregnancy, a loss at 8 weeks and a termination at 5-6 weeks. I grieve them all, they're all losses to me.

**feeb** · September 20th, 2011, 10:43 PM

Tahybabe they would write it as G4P2-2

Hugs hun must be awful for you. xoxo

**MrsFabuloso** · September 20th, 2011, 10:44 PM

Awww, Tashy

I'm so sorry things are this way for you. Noone should go through what you have. I have no words that will help. I'm sorry.

**TeniBear** · September 20th, 2011, 11:25 PM

Two definites. One living and one dead baby.

One BFP that was a negative on a blood test the next day so was either a false positive or a miscarriage. I'm still not sure, and prefer to believe it was a false positive.

Also, a very strong hunch and black blood in high school after only the third time I'd ever had sex. That one I REALLY don't know about. That was also when my periods started being irregular.

ETA - My mum's got three kids from eight or nine pregnancies. I'd love to have another sibling (especially a sister after all these years!) but the pain it must cause her...

Sent from my iPhone so forgive the speelung misstacks

**helle** · September 20th, 2011, 11:26 PM

3 pregnancies, one born at 18 weeks, My healthy and happy DS and one in the oven *fingers crossed*

**Glamourcide** · September 20th, 2011, 11:43 PM

Not sure if you are counting terminations in this straw poll but 'loss' doesn't always mean miscarriage and the effects can be just as gut wrenching. The sad thing is that, in our society, even though abortion is decriminalized, most women would not admit to having had a termination lest they be judged. It's a loss that no one wants to know about.

Unfortunately it hasn't been decriminalised in all states of Australia, and women and their doctors are still at very real risk of being hauled in front of judge and jury for exercising their right to choose... (sorry to hijack, BAL, I'm writing an essay on this atm so it seems to be popping up everywhere!)
You do have a very valid point, though. I guess those who are uncomfortable with talking about specifics regarding their losses can just word their replies in a vague way, or not reply at all if it's a really sensitive subject for them. I read the question as pregnancies vs live births and answered accordingly, no further information required. A loss is a loss is a loss, it's nobody's business but your own whether it was a spontaneous miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, chemical pregnancy, termination, etc etc.

I am asking the women of BB how many pregnancies VS live births they have had or if they were fortunate enough to have never experienced a loss. It's not up to me to decide what a loss is. I just threw the 1 in 4 statistic in there because I found it interesting.. TBH I don't really know what losses that statistic includes either.

ETA: From what I can find from a quick google it's for miscarriage. So that only covers 1 aspect of loss.

I think the general statistic is that for every 4 pregnancies, 3 result in live births - the reason for the pregnancy not carrying to full term doesn't really enter the equation. I've heard statistics recently claiming that 1 in 4 pregnancies ends in termination (when considering that 50% of pregnancies in Aus are unplanned, and 50% of those pregnancies will be terminated), so I suppose it all depends on where the info is coming from - it appears there's not a lot of reliable evidence because the data collection methods are flawed.

Also an interesting 'fun fact': women who require a D&C following a m/c are for the most part counted as having had an 'abortion' because Medicare uses the same code for the two procedures. Which then skews both m/c AND abortion stats as nobody knows how many of each are lumped into the one category.

**shaza12345** · September 20th, 2011, 11:54 PM

2 Pregnancies and two beautiful Boys i am blessed and very
Sorry for the people that have lost and have angle babies...

**Frangipani** · September 20th, 2011, 11:54 PM

3 pregnancies
1 early miscarriage (at just over 7weeks)
2 live births

plus I also had a faint positive after my very first IUI - they did a drop of blood test in the fertility clinic but then sent the blood for the proper testing which came back with extremely low results which they said would 'not be a viable pregnancy'- which it didn't.

I remember being told those 1 in 4 statistics when we first started TTC- and when I found out I was pregnant with DS2- my best friend and our 2 other friends also found out they were pregnant within a few weeks of each other. I remember thinking about that 1 in 4 and had this strong feeling that one of us 4 would miscarry...and unfortunately one of the other girls did. I feel for her as 20months on and they are still TTC and us 3 would be a constant reminder of her angelbaby.

Bec sent this from her Samsung using Tapatalk.

**ElleJay** · September 21st, 2011, 02:34 AM

4 pregnancies
1 x early loss with my XP
1 x early loss with my DH (7wks)
1 x live son
1 x still baking (a daughter)

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - even though I should be cleaning

**Maruschke** · September 21st, 2011, 06:21 AM

I feel like a complete failure everytime I write it out...

Not how I want to define my self or my children.

This is so depressing.

Huge hugs. Our children and losses do not define us (we are more than just mothers) but they have helped shape us as people and we can't escape from that (sometimes very depressing) fact.

**Fleur** · September 21st, 2011, 06:26 AM

Four pregnancies, four children for whom I give thanks every day.

My thoughts are with all the beautiful mums on here that have to hold some of their babies in their hearts

JM said it better than I could.

**SunnyRain** · September 21st, 2011, 07:24 AM

I believe it's more like 60% of pregnancies end in loss, with the vast majority being chemical pregnancies. Possibly even higher because most women don't know they're pregnant when they have a very early loss.

Me, 2 pregnancies and 2 children.

Possibly a very very early chemical pregnancy but I don't count it, even though I strongly suspect it. It would have been just a few days post fertilisation. My period came a week early which never ever happens to me. But I don't feel any loss about it.

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