How many times have you been pregnant? *Sensitive topic*

**~ Zarava Flutterby ~** · September 21st, 2011, 07:33 AM

FWIW my mum had 5 live births - 4 living & 1 passed of sids at 4mths i am aware of atleast 2 m/c's - so 7 pregnancies.

**RhiChiChi** · September 21st, 2011, 07:42 AM

Six pregnancies with one DD (makes me choke up when I wrtie it out)

Two m/c prior to DD and three ttc # 2

**Rouge** · September 21st, 2011, 07:47 AM

7 in total (5 Miscarriage) - 1 prior to first child. 2 in between and 2 after last child.

2 births.

**Lenny** · September 21st, 2011, 07:55 AM

I wonder how the loss of an early twin gets 'counted' when the pregnancy continues to a live birth of the other twin. If it gets 'counted' at all.

**Freya** · September 21st, 2011, 08:20 AM

I wonder how the loss of an early twin gets 'counted' when the pregnancy continues to a live birth of the other twin. If it gets 'counted' at all.

Its still a miscarriage but there is a particular term for it. One of mine was miscarrying a twin in the first trimester.

**Melbournemumma** · September 21st, 2011, 08:05 AM

2 pregnancies, 2 beautiful little boys.

My mum was the same, 2 pregnancies, 2 kids.

**Amity** · September 21st, 2011, 08:45 AM

4 pregnancies. 2 living children.

**sahbear** · September 21st, 2011, 11:27 AM

I have been lucky enough to have been pregnant once, and have one gorgeous bub ith me.

Tashy, what you said was a brilliant eye opener for me. I did stress out during my pregnancy, I had some medical issues in the last trimester, but I was worrying too much well before that.
If I am lucky enough to be pregnant again, I will definitely embrace it in a different way.
I am sorry for what you have been through, I cant even begin to imagine, but thank you for making me take a step back and think.

**Bumperstump Cummerbund** · September 21st, 2011, 11:55 AM

Y'know, I'm sorry, I have tried to let it go, but I'm really offended. I have NOTHING to remember my babies by. Most people don't even consider them babies because they were only 6 weeks old (as further evidenced by this thread). I never got to hold them, to see what they looked like, I don't even know if they were boys or girls. Sometimes I feel stupid for having given them unisex names, I feel like I'm making too much out of nothing. But y'know what? They were and ARE my babies, and I bet that my heart aches just as much as anyones

I don't think it's helpful to anyone to say that one loss is worse than another - ALL loss is fricken' painful and should never happen.

**LionsandBears** · September 21st, 2011, 12:15 PM

keike - everyone's pain is there own and it's all relative. I don't dismiss the pain of other mothers.

For me, I have had 2 early losses and 2 babies born still or who then died. For me, the pain of those deaths outweigh the pain of a mc. I was devastated when I had a mc and that was a very real grief. I still gireve that baby. It was nothing compared to holding my boys still in my arms or planning their funerals. Yes, I have things to remember them by, but for me, that's no consolation at all. Personally, I would rather have another miscarriage than an another late loss. It would still be painful, but I would find some small comfort in mother nature doing her job properly for once. because, in my opinion, she's been crap at it so far. That's a deal I've made with myself. But that has been the lessons that life has brought to me.

I have a dear friend who would kill to get pregnant. She has told me she'd rather be in her shoes than mine. I don't know what it's like to be in her shoes, so I can't compare. It is not a competition of whose pain is greater than the others. I think the idea of comparing emotional scars is sick. I have not walked in your shoes. I have not walked in the shoes of the mother whose child died of SIDS, illness, car accident, lost 7 babies in the 2nd trimester and nearly bled to death with 3 of them. I have not walked in the shoes of the woman with a balanced translocation who loses bub after bub after bub, praying desperately that the number roll her way for once. I have not walked in the shoes of the woman who has tried and tried and tried and never got pregnant once. I do not compare the pain. That was not my point at all.

My point was about people who buy trouble. Whilst someone is pregnant today, I think they should enjoy as much as they can, being pregnant, today. That is all you can expect. Hope for the best, stay healthy and maybe they get to keep a living, healthy baby. Worry is normal. Dealing with it, managing it is something we can try to control. The baby making it or not if often not something we can.

I'm sorry if I was unclear.

**Rouge** · September 21st, 2011, 12:18 PM

Beautiful Tash. Absolutely beautiful

xx

**Bumperstump Cummerbund** · September 21st, 2011, 12:22 PM

I guess it comes down to personal opinion as well then. For me, I don't mind so much that they died, because of my religious beliefs regarding death - my problem is that I have no photos, no ashes, not even a gender. I guess you've hit a nerve with me, but I do understand what you're saying

**Epacris** · September 21st, 2011, 11:58 AM

4 pregnancies, 3 children. My first pregnancy was a blighted ovum discovered at 10 weeks for which I had a D&C a week later.

**Ahurani** · September 21st, 2011, 11:15 AM

And for me I spent my pregnancy worrying about DD dying and she did. So I think my fears and anxiety was warranted. I don't think you can even compare a very early mc to a full term loss though.

**mum_of_5** · September 21st, 2011, 11:20 AM

6 pregnancy's 5 living kids and a ectopic at 9 weeks

**Mumtastic** · September 21st, 2011, 11:22 AM

It is a good topic but not the topic of this thread of course....

I have four healthy children that I am incredibly grateful for but I am constantly anxious (what if they get cancer, what if they get kidnapped, what if they end up a bad person, etc). I think that it's part of being a parent. It's part of love. There's never a guarantee (bad things can happen at any age)... as soon as you have conceived your child you need to live with that possibility of loss - it's like that saying about how the decision to have a child is momentous because you'll be living forevermore with your heart outside your body.

**Maruschke** · September 21st, 2011, 11:26 AM

I don't think you can even compare a very early mc to a full term loss though.

Of course not

**NaeNae** · September 21st, 2011, 03:42 PM

I don't think you can even compare a very early mc to a full term loss though.

with all due respect it does not mean that the pregnancy or baby are not missed dearly or that parents of early losses don't feel the weight of the loss just because it was not a full term baby.

Yes they are different but I feel the loss of my 3 early miscarriages. It is different to the loss of Niki but they still had and continue to have an impact on how much/little anxiety I feel during pregnancy.

They cannot be compared to each other but for those that feel its "less significant" ....... well frankly its insulting!