How many times have you been pregnant? *Sensitive topic*

[Jellyfish]

I have been pregnant twice; once was DD and am currently 24w with another DD.

[diannescruffy]

Six pregnancies and 4 live children.

Regards,
Dianne

[megs]

5 pregnancies.

First ended in missed miscarraige at 13 weeks
3 little boys and nearly finished baking my 4th son.

[blessedatlast]

Tashybabe - Obstetric history questions must be one of the hardest questions anyone would ask you.

I think the general statistic is that for every 4 pregnancies, 3 result in live births - the reason for the pregnancy not carrying to full term doesn't really enter the equation. I've heard statistics recently claiming that 1 in 4 pregnancies ends in termination (when considering that 50% of pregnancies in Aus are unplanned, and 50% of those pregnancies will be terminated), so I suppose it all depends on where the info is coming from - it appears there's not a lot of reliable evidence because the data collection methods are flawed.

Also an interesting 'fun fact': women who require a D&C following a m/c are for the most part counted as having had an 'abortion' because Medicare uses the same code for the two procedures. Which then skews both m/c AND abortion stats as nobody knows how many of each are lumped into the one category.

Interesting facts Glamouricide. I got the 1 in 4 m/c stats from march of dimes which is American I think.. (I'm not much of a researcher lol) That stat specifically relates to spontaneous m/c from what I gathered. I didn't read it in detail though.. Either way it's irrelavant because it's not an Australian stat..

I believe it's more like 60% of pregnancies end in loss, with the vast majority being chemical pregnancies. Possibly even higher because most women don't know they're pregnant when they have a very early loss.

Kuraiza I think that too..

When talking about our mums, those of us in the 30's age group - I still am doubtful at how accurate the m/c figures are from those times.....there were no first response or easy methods of finding out if they were pregnant. I am a firm believer that m/c was almost as common, but most of those were early m/c and missed because the women had not had pregnancies confirmed yet. It was a matter of missing one (or even 2) periods before you went to the doctor for a blood test. So how many m/c could have been missed by 10 weeks?

Again very true.. I was paranoid with this pregnancy because I found out so early.. I knew I could still well get my period.. I also know I could have had a couple of pregnancies and not been aware of them, because my cycle has always been really irregular..

Also some other good points there with IVF and 'chemical' pregnancies. Stats would be higher, simply because we know more and are finding out earlier.

Thanks again to everyone who answered honestly. I am sorry that many of you would have found this triggering. It's unfortunate that there are not many of us who haven't lost a baby.

[KitFaerie]

Two pregnancies, two losses (one twin loss), one DS.

[Mumma T]

1 Pregnancy 0 Babies.

[Teeki]

TBH, the stats still worry me. Even though I've had one pregnancy and now have my beautiful DD, I kind of feel like because of the stats I'm 'due' for a m/c. So I'll be even more nervous TTC #2 than I was with DD.

[jacklicky]

I have had 5 positive pregancies

First one is now DD who is 3 tomorrow
Second was MC at 8-9wks
Third Chemical 5-6wks
Fourth Chemical 4wks (wouldnt have even known except we were doing IVF so had BT)
Fifth - Just found out so have everything crossed its going to work out!

[LionsandBears]

TBH, the stats still worry me. Even though I've had one pregnancy and now have my beautiful DD, I kind of feel like because of the stats I'm 'due' for a m/c. So I'll be even more nervous TTC #2 than I was with DD.

As someone recently pointed out to me when I was stressing about stats. 1 in 4 does not mean 1 in 4. It means one person can have 10 losses, another can have 0. I know a woman who had 5/12 live. That's 7 losses. My Mum had 4/4 live (and knows there were no m/c). Some people have known issues which will increase the losses and skew the figures. Others have bad luck.

As I recently read: pregnancy is a hope, not a promise. Yes, loss is scary, but apart from being as fit and healthy as you can be, there ain't much you can do to stop it. I don't dismiss the right to worry. I do get upset with people who buy trouble. The reality of a loss is a whole lot worse than one can possibly imagine. Imagining the bad won't make things good or bad, it just spoils the time you have growing a new baby. There are people who freak out about every little thing and all it does is stress them, stress the baby, stress the people around them. They end up with a live, healthy baby and what point was all that stress?

btw - I'm not having a go at you at all. this is just a bugbear of mine.

For someone who's been on the side of pregnancy= death/pain/grief, it really p's me off to see others spoil their pregnancies/births with perfectly healthy babies without a damn good reason. I'd kill for a healthy, live baby and a boring, uneventful pregnancy. I spoilt the pregnancy with DS1 stressing about losing him - I stressed off people around me in the process. I didn't give my all to my son in the short time I had with him and that still upsets me. I wish I hadn't wasted so much energy worrying about something I couldnt control and just cherished the moments as they happened. I'd fully support going back to the old days when you didn't test until you'd missed 2 periods. Not realistic I know, but it may save some of the hysteria. I'd take this into a vent thread but I'm sure I'd offend people.

I should add the caveat - I'm a whole lot more tolerant when it's a late loss. There aint nothing can stop the fear of another baby dying once you've held your dead child in your arms. Hypocritical of me, maybe, but that's just where I sit atm. I suppose that's my definition of a damn good reason. I tried so much more to chill and be in the moment with DS2. Still had freak outs, but actively tried not to and I cherish the memory of that. I know we didn't have him long, but the short time we did, we were present and all he knew was love.

Sorry to go way OT.

[mrscricket]

As I recently read: pregnancy is a hope, not a promise. Yes, loss is scary, but apart from being as fit and healthy as you can be, there ain't much you can do to stop it.
.

This is what my sisters and I were brought up being told too, and I believe it is very true. My mum had 10 pregnancies for 5 children, and her sisters all had a very similar history, including a beautiful SIDS baby. My older sister has had 5 pregnancies (including a twin loss at 16 weeks) and now has 2 children. My other sister has been ttc for almost 8 years. I have had 2 pregnancies resulting in 3 children, and I am thankful for this everyday.

[Teeki]

I think you're exactly right Tashy (and I didn't take it as you having a go). I know I spent far too long worrying about what 'could' happen when I was pregnant with DD. None of it happened, so what was the point? And if something had happened, the worry wouldn't have stopped it anyway. I am going to try hard to be completely 'in' every moment should I get pregnant again, to just enjoy it for what it is and love whatever time I have with that baby.

I also realise that there is no way I can know how it feels to experience a loss, unless it happens to me. It did happen to my Mum and I saw the pain my parents went through, I truly feel for anyone who experiences any kind of loss.

[Freya]

The miscarriage stats are skewed because they dont allow for if there was a medical reason for miscarriage, for termination and so on.

Ive seen a very well known miscarriage specialist and when we discussed my losses he said the "normal" miscarriage stats are 1 in 6. For women like me with a disorder that can (and more often than not does) cause miscarriage and stillbirth, its more like 1 in 4. For me based off my miscarriage vs live birth stats, it's 1 in 2.

1 in 2 is a pretty scary thing to hear.

If I follow the plans he's set for me before and during pregnancy is should raise my stats back to 1 in 4, if not 1 in 6.

So while yes the miscarriage stats are quite heartbreaking to hear, there are alot of factors that go into infuencing it and it usually becomes a case by case basis not an overall figure for every women of child bearing age. And its not always stagnate either, it can be changed.

[Freya]

And I also want to say, I have very nearly been on both sides of the losing a pregnancy equation. Ive had 5 first trimester losses and they broke my heart. I completely understand that pain.

Ive also been within a hairs breath of feeling the unimaginable pain of losing a baby in the 2nd trimester. I am forever grateful we got to take him home happy and healthy in the end but when nurses start talking to you about funerals and baptising and grief counsellors, and everything is out of your control and up to higher powers; if the pain I touched on in those horrifying hours is even a minute glimpse of what it feels like to have to go home without a baby to hold; I can assure you its heart SHATTERING. And thats not even doing it justice. It gave me a renewed admiration, respect and sympathy for those who've been there. The experience I had scarred me for life and we were one of the lucky ones!

ETA - I dont talk about what we went through in Ds2's pregnancy because it almost seems..........disrespectful because we got to take him home. I really hope I dont offend anyone because like I said, I KNOW the pain I felt is nothing compared to those who've walked that path to the end.