Just sending you some more hugs, i have been thinking about you since i first read your post!!! I really hope that that little bit of hope you are clinging to turns out your way. And if it doesnt i pray that you have the strength and support to come to terms with the feelings you are having. I cant imagine how hard this must be for you!!!
nothing else i can say realy....just more hugs and let your self be sad and dont feel bad about those feelings!!!! Hugs to you.xx