If I feel like this, does it mean this is my last pregnancy?

[Curly]

I always kind of thought I'd have 4 kids. Both DH and I did.

But here I am pregnant with Number 3 and I am so, so tired. My veins hurt already (I have problem varicose veins and will need surgery on them one day, have known this for the last 15 years).

The morning sickness has gone, but I am still just drained. I cannot imagine how I would cope with 3 little kids and being pregnant with a fourth...especially considering that DS would be at school so I would have a school run to contend with every morning, instead of just pacing myself until I feel okay.

The exhaustion affects the way I parent too. I hardly ever feel like I'm on my "A Game" anymore and I feel like I'm ripping off DS and DD.

And I just don't want to go through another pregnancy and labour. It just feels like a chore. As much as I am excited about this new little baby, I am really not looking forward to labour again and no, my previous labours weren't traumatic.

I would like to know when I lose my preggy weight this time, that I won't be facing the prospect of putting it all on and taking it all off again.

Does this mean I am "done" and this is my last? Because, emotionally, I would love to have a 4th child but I just don't want to go through pregnancy and labour again LOL. But I think that physically my body has had enough.

How do I know when I'm done? Is this a sign?

[Nelle]

You've had your babies pretty close together. Would you consider a larger gap if you have a fourth? Maybe 3 years instead of 2? After this one, give yourself some time to get fit again, and maybe if you can have two in school by the time number 4 is born, things would be more manageable?

I think - down the track, you will weigh up your pros and cons and decide what's best for your family, but it's certainly not something you need to decide in a hurry. And I guess, with this issue on your mind, you can try to extra cherish this pregnancy and baby, knowing that it might be your last. xo But it might not.

[Visitor7]

I think I'm going to face the same decision as you. I've had my babies around the same time as you, and I'd love to have 4, but I wonder if I can physically. I'm only around 6 weeks pg and I'm already tired LOL. I like Nelle's idea though, maybe a larger gap between 3 and 4? I ideally would have liked a larger gap between 2 and 3.

[Astrid]

I felt a bit like I was done during my second pregnancy. I was also tired and in paid due to pelvic instability. We had decided on 2, but still had left thing open for another. Honestly now, I do not want another. The done feeling never really went away, it waned a bit with the odd time where I considered a 3rd, but overtime it just got stronger.

Saying that though, don't go writing off another bub just yet, see how you feel a bit later down the track.

[Lolli]

Hun, I had a friend say to me that once you're done, you know you're done- you don't question it, and that's how you know. I don't know if that's true or not, but the fact that you're thinking about it maybe means you're not done, iykwim? I imagine there would be a fair bit of grief involved in being 'done' too, and you'd have to let yourself work through it.

FWIW, I find i feel completley differently about most things when I'm pg to what i do normally. maybe this is a question best left until you have bubs, and after the babymoon is over. All that exhaustion, pain and sickness can take their toll mentally as well as pyschically.

Big hun.

[sasha]

It might be your last, it might not, but now is not the time you should be making your mind up for sure! I agree that a larger gap mightn't be a bad thing, if that's a possibility for you and your family.

For us, we want to start TTC next year, and I'm 95% certain she/he will be the last one. In that way, I'm kind of looking forward to a whole lot of "last times" eg "This is the last time I will have to feel like hell every evening/morning/day" (whatever time m/s decides to hit), or "This is the last time I will feel this kind of back pain" etc, etc. I really didn't feel that last time, and that was the thing that convinced me that #2 was not the last for me, iykwim.

Maybe your second trimester energy is taking a while to kick in, as well? You might feel a bit better as you get further on. Take it easy

[misty]

thats certainly how I felt during my third pg. Now I think i will prob still have another, but only after a long gap (at least 5 yrs or longer), but then i am only 27yrs old - so i guess if I were older that tit may very well have been he last pg. IYKWIM?

[mykids]

I use to want 4 also and am having the same problem as you. My 3rd is due in April next year and I too feel I am not giving my other 2 very good mummy quality because I am so damn tired. For me I have decieded that that is a sign that 3 is my new 4 and I am happy with that. I feel I can only cope with 3.

But no need to rush into any big decisions. In a few years you may be thrilled at the prospect of another.
I actually didnt think I would have anymore after #2, my pregnancy was horrific and I told everyone that I could not possibly do that again.
But after a little while I felt back to normal, I exercised, did some things just for me and I felt like me again and my feelings of wanting to have more kids came back and I am having another and I am thinking very differently with this pregnancy alot more positive.

So just give yourself some time is the only thing I can suggest. Dont be too hard on yourself. The fact that you are there for your kids and love them is amazing.
If your plans change from 4 to 3 kids then it does. You will have 3 great kids to love and enjoy.
Good luck