Yup that was a very common reaction to this pregnancy (and still is if I tell friends who don't already know!) Umm... well yes it was planned, we had unprotected sex deliberately, he didn't accidentally fall in - and when I was ovulating and surprise surprise, I'm now pregnant.
Now - tell me about your sex life since we're swapping stories?
I don't even understand wy people would think that it is unplanned. My mum had my sister 6 years after me, and everyone thought she was an oopsie! In fact it took her that long to get pregnant again.
have to say, I dont thinkI even got a congratulations when pg with Miss V or even this one. More like, well you need to get your TV fixed, or was it planned, to even a close friend saying to my DH after him asking her whether she knew I was pg, and she came up with Ohh yes I know, I dont agree with what she is doing but she is my friend and I will support her. Not a congratulations just that reply to DH. Not even a congratulations to me.
I think people believe that if you have more than 2 kids your completely insane. I held off telling most people this time, until after my morph scan, as I didnt want the stress. Maybe i should have held off even longer like once bub arrives, as the stress has hit. lol.
Anyhow a huge congratulations hun and I hope you have a H & H pgcy. hugs
What i dont understand is why it matters whether it was planned or not. I got it all the time too and i said well no but it is very welcomed. But does it make any difference, there is still a beautiful little baby growing inside your belly that will be loved more than anything.
I was often asked this when I told people about my miscarriage. As it if mattered at that point, or as if I'd be less devastated if it hadn't been planned.
I think it is a deeply personal question and I find it offensive. When pregnant with my second child, an aquaintance asked if the pregnancy was 'planned'. She was also pregnant, with what she said was an 'unplanned' pregnancy, so I figure that is why she asked me. Nevertheless, I was a little offended at the question. We had just had an early miscarriage and the pregnancy was very much planned and wanted.
Ive only had that once and with this pregnancy, from the director of DS's preschool! Of all places and people! I dont know her more than anyone else there so not like shes a family friend or anything, but yeh.. the weird things people say!
Yep, I get it too. This time round No it wasn't planned but we didn't exactly try & prevent it either. I wanted more, DH didn't but wasn't ready to get the snip. things happen & we are both happy with our little surprise.
What bugs me more though is not one of my pregnancies has my own mother said "Congratulations" I am sure ALL 5 have been something like "Oh that's all you need" or something equally insulting.
meh. I've asked if it's planned before. Why assume the question means more than it is? Unplanned doesn't equal unwanted.. it's just a question.
Having said that.. I'll probably be asked this too when we are pg with #3 cos we already have a boy & a girl. Sure it'll irritate me, but I wouldn't be offended and see it as people prying into my sex life!
Oh and btw... my asking the 'planned' question isn't an initial reaction to the pg announcement.. it usually comes up later on or something. I usually jump up and down with congratulations as an announcement reaction
Tbh, I really don't care when people ask me! I've had it with nearly every person we've told (I assume it's because of my age lol) and I just say "yeh kinda" because that's the truth!
I'm like Liz in the sense that I don't see it as prying, I guess people are just curious and want to know abit more about your journey and thought patterns?
I know I've asked, and people never cared, they openly answered and said yes or no, but then, maybe the groups I associate see things differently to how others do? But then, I've heard others are pregnant and just said congrats and didn't ask if they had planned it, I think it also depends on how well you know the person, their situation (I.e. If they're single, it obviously wasn't planned lol) and just the general situation when they tell you?
Maybe they aren't sure what to say when theyre told youre expecting and so that's why they ask? Lol.
AFM - I know most people who have asked have done so because DH and I are married and just simply WONDER how we expect to lay out our lives?
Whereas others are just simply finding a way to express and confirm their disagreeance with our choices lol, either way I don't care, as it's our life, and if they don't like it, they can sod off and stay away because I don't want people who aren't happy for us then I don't want their fake attitudes and them silently judging us around.
That is such a ROOOOOD thing to say... I can only remember a couple of DF's workmates giving me the congrats when I was pg, not one family member said it
Registered User
why cant people just be happy for others
I know the feeling too. Poeple are so rude and unthoughtful.
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks