Well. Apparently overweight woman should not be pregnant. According to the OB I saw at the hospital today.
I also apprently choose to be fat.
I am so angry at this doctor. He constantly contradicted himself throughout the appointment and was incredibly insensitive...
He even told me I have put my unborn baby at risk by overeating and being lazy... I'm sorry - you have cameras installed in my house so that you know what I do all day, every day? Because they would be wrong. I do not over eat and I am incredibly active.
Oh and because of my high BMI, I am going to get pre eclampsia and diabetes. Pardon? That's right! I realise my risk for these things is higher because I am overweight but it DOES NOT guarantee that I will get them.
Oh yes and by being overweight, I make their job harder because they have to work harder at palpatating my belly to feel the fundal height... He actually said those words!
So ladies, I ask you, am I alone in being overweight with a high BMI?
Lets band together and make each other feel not so alone!
Those that have gone on to have healthy babies - tell me and put my mind at rest!?
He is a professional and what he has told you is a load of bs saying you will get this and that, like u said having a high bmi can contribute but far from means you WILL get these things.
At most public hospitals when u have to see the obs you can't pick who you do and don't want to see but you can say you only want to see a woman, I would consider that to avoid seeing an ob, who needs to see someone to make them feel bad?
I would also consider making a complaint about his unprofessional conduct! Maybe that sounds a bit over the top but the thing is from the sounds of things...i.e him calling you lazy..what the??? etc he was completely unconstructive. The thing is you are pregnant now and your bmi is what it is so if he was genuinely concern he should have offered information and advice on what you should do to avoid possible complications and have the best outcomes for everyone iykwim?
Wishing you a wonderfully happy and healthy pregnancy!!!!!!!
Last edited by Jas; February 25th, 2009 at 01:15 PM.
Bec, that's awful. I can't believe you have been treated like this. At my first appt (10wks) I was seen by a different Dr as mine was away and he had a bit of an attitude and once he worked out my BMI, told me that my weight would have been why I had taken so long to conceive - all this without having any of my medical history, not knowing a thing about me at all. I was a bit put off by him. Anyway, I had to go to an appt at the hospital because I was a whole .5 over the BMI cutoff for the hospital for a physical by the anaethetist. Every other appt I have had I have been treated with respect and have been very happy. It was just that first appt and I am glad I don't have to see him anymore. I did end up with gestational diabetes, but so far BP has been great, everyone is happy and I have lost 4kg during the pregnancy with little effort. Now, my BMI is actually under that cutoff for the hospital! I think it makes a huge difference when you are treated well and you trust your care providers.
Is it too late to change OB's? I know I would be seriously considering it given his attitude.
Arimeh - Thank you so much for sharing that... I bet your kids are gorgeous too!
Jas - I'm thinking about it. I just don't know - I think after today, I would rather forget all about it!I will be telling them I refuse to see that Ob again though.
Megan - I don't actually get a choice. I was seen by him because he is one of the Ob's at the hospital I'm having to give birth at. They have a team that rotate to see high risk patients for their anti natal appt's... I will be requesting that I don't see him but I think it's decided on the day who see's who.
What an A*****e! Was this at Monash? As a medical professional you would think he would be a bit more understanding to different medical issues. My mum is classed as obese and is getting lapband surgery done next month. According to her doctors, obesity is actually an illness.
So what, does he want you to go on a diet and put the baby at further risk from not getting enough nutrients?
I dont know about anyone else, but I know I am overweight and I dont need to be told that from other people. We all look in the mirror everyday and know what we see.
Bec, dont even start to worry yourself about this mans insensitive comments. Keep going, enjoying your pregnancy and really, all you can do is feel sorry for this man who obviously needs a bit of action himself!
I too would be making a complaint about the way he spoke to you.
I'm not saying that being overweight when pregnant won't increase the risk of certain issues, because it can, but it's not a guarantee that it will, and he had no right to make you feel like it would be.
I was one of those who was overweight (BMI around 37) when I fell pregnant and I had a textbook pregnancy - no GD, no pre-eclampsia nothing. My Dr even said he would love if all his pg patients were as fit and healthy as I was. My sister, who is really skinny, got GD and all other sorts of complications.
So not only was he wrong, he was rude, and you don't have to put up with that.
Bec, I would be absolutely livid if someone had've said those things to me. You really should make a complaint - the things he said were completely unnecessary and he should be brought down a peg or two.
I assume you are going public? (If you're private, good heavens, change OBs!)
Is it absolutely necessary that you see an OB? (i.e. are you high risk?) If not, you could try to transfer to a midwife program. My last pg was managed by midwives and they never weighed me. It was never an issue.
I was 5-10kg overweight before getting pregnant this time, and so far have been completely complication-free.
All the best for the rest of your pg - and I really hope you see a better Dr (or nurse) next time.
Ubba - you crack me up! Indeed - I look in the mirror and I know exactly what I see - I hate it and it is most definately not a choice. I think the doctors have tried everything bar surgery to get me to lose weight but nothing I do budges it. I eat small meals, I eat lots of healthy fresh fruit and veg and only lean meats. I don't pig out on lollies or choc, fast food is a rare thing. I walk everyday and I rarely stop during the day - except for Belly Belly of course!
Oh yes, he did tell me not to diet but to restrict what I am eating and try to lose some weight and definately don't gain any... One of his many contradictions!
Sushee - exactly, like I said in my original post - I know that by being overweight my risk for these complications are higher but it's not a guarantee it is going to happen... I felt really disgusted when I walked out and had a good cry all the way home. It just felt like it didn't matter what I said - I was obviously lieing and not caring about my unborn baby. By the time I got home, I was calm enough to realise I am doing everything I can to make sure this baby is healthy and strong - no one can really ask anymore of anyone.
What a horrid man! Sounds like he's been in the industry for too long (not that that's an excuse!).
I have a low BMI- and guess what? I developed post labour pre-eclampsia. It can happen to anyone!
Forget what he said. The health of your child will depend largely upon the food you eat between now and the time he or she is due - not your BMI. Avoiding additives in food (ie- artificial colours and flavours etc), and toxins in personal care are also important factors. (Check out Julie Eady's 'Additive Alert', and Bill Statham's 'The Chemical Maze').
A brilliant guide (for low, medium, and high BMI's alike) for pregnancy is Francesca Naish's book- 'The Natural Way to a Better Pregnancy'. It also incorporates many factors other than diet like dealing with stress and avoiding post natal depression.
All the best for a happy and healthy pregnancy. I'm sure you'll prove that id**t doctor wrong!!
omg bec - was this at mmc again? you have had the worst time so far! i am so angry on your behalf! i know you're only just over on the bmi scale but, the thing is, monash takes patients in this category because they are supposed to be able to cope. if other hospitals are going to refer us (damn 1 pt over!) to monash, then we go to monash not for a lecture on our weight (thanks, already making ourselves feel bad enough without you adding to it) but because we're told they're experts in handling people 'in our circumstance'.
argh. it drives me crazy. i spent ages beating myself up for being a horrible person for getting pg when i was overweight before i came to the conclusion that, despite my weight, my body has allowed me to become pg and i need to trust it that it can handle the strain. in the meantime i can do my best to ensure i eat well etc - which is exactly what you're doing.
please do not allow this imbecile of a doctor make you feel any less worthy of being pg and a soon to be mum because he lives in the world of text books and choose not to acknowledge that each patient is an individual but would rather deliver self righteous drivel on the basis of assumptions rather than fact.
i have come to the conclusion that while doctors obviously have a lot of training & knowledge behind them, they do not necessarily know me or my body better than i do. you know yourself bec - you are not lazy, you are active, you eat well & you will NOT automatically have any complications.
edit - sorry for ranting. DP always tells me i type too much...but i'm getting more & more fired up on this topic!
Well... I have had 2 pregnancies where I have been in a higher BMI and not once did I have pre-eclampsia, high blood pressure or diabetes.
I am still above the BMI for this pregnancy AND I have been okayed for a home birth. My previous pregnancies & labours were considered for this and they saw that I have had great pregnancies and "labour like a champ" in their words.
Tell that Ob to check out how many women in the recommended BMI end up with PID, PE & high blood pressure.
I'd definitely be making a complaint too.
I hope the rest of your visits are much more pleasant hun
Missbec i am absolutley horrified that a medical professional could be so rude and arogant. I am with everyone else you need to make a complaint so that this doctor does not continue doing this to other overweight ladies it is bad enough that he has done it to you. I would also request that you don't see the dr and find out when he will be in the clinic and try not to book an appointment for those days.
As for being overweight while pregnant that is me. I was way above my BMI with my sons pregnancy and yes i got GD but other than that all went fine. He was a natural birth weighted 8pd 11oz (little big but not huge) but i was treated with respect. As for my first pregnancy with my daughter i had preclampsia towards the end but that was also due to the stress of her father leaving me 4 weeks before she was due. Again she was a natural birth and there were no other complications through the pregnancy. With my son i gained 4 kilos and with my daughter i gained 5 kilos but after the birth i lost about 11 kilos with my daughter and lost 15kilos with my son. As long as you eat right and look after yourself no matter what size you are there is always chances of complications and yes the chances are higher when you are overwwight but there is also support out there that will help you get through you pregnancy if complications arise.
Take care of yourself and your precious unborn baby and complain about the doctor.
Goodluck
BMI of 34 here...yes I have high blood pressure but I doubt that is due to my weight as it was always normal before pregnancy.
I hate being fat and pregnant simply becuase of the way I look. I graciously (not) got told by a collegue the other day "Oh you're pregnant...I didn't know...I thought you'd just got fatter".
Have had no greif from midwives or anything to this point except that I was rejected for a home birth, just my GP saying to put on no more than 5-7 kilos. Am trying very hard.
And in addition...we were all obviously healthy enough to GET pregnant in the first place. If we were "too overweight" then nature would not have intended us to get pregnant!
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Overweight - High BMI.
. I am with everyone else you need to make a complaint so that this doctor does not continue doing this to other overweight ladies it is bad enough that he has done it to you. I would also request that you don't see the dr and find out when he will be in the clinic and try not to book an appointment for those days.
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